Baby, Baby
by Office-LOver
Summary: What her and James were doing wasn't supposed to result in this. She just wanted some fun, some sex. She didn't want to get pregnant! My OC has a dirty mouth just warning you!
1. Pregnant

**This is my second Star Trek: 2009 story. This one is about James T. Kirk who I also love as much as Chekov- lol. Hope you enjoy. Please read and review. I will love you forever!**

**I own nothing but Natalya. **

"Could you be a bigger asshole?"

James T. Kirk grinned, leaning back against the headboard and gazing at her back. Natalya Rider was what any guy would declare as "perfect." Long blonde hair that cascaded down her back in perfect ringlets, beautiful green eyes surrounded by long lashes, perfectly sized lips that were often found in a sarcastic, mocking smile. She had almost translucent skin, never a blemish or scar to be found. To be frank, any guy would die to have her, but Jim was the one to have her.

They definitely weren't in a relationship. She had made that very clear- not that he had asked for one. It was pure sex. Mind blowing, amazing, heart attack causing sex. Nothing beyond it, no emotions, no strings. It was the perfect situation for both of them. Natalya wanted something to take her mind off of... well, he wasn't exactly sure. They didn't talk enough for him to figure that out. And him, he just wanted to get laid.

"Yes, and we both know it." He replied, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder. She swatted at him, gathering the sheet around her and getting up off the bed. He knew she wasn't leaving, for God's sake it was only round one. Most likely she was going to fix herself in the bathroom, get at least a little bit of clothes on and would come back for more. She'd never admit he was good, but the fact she kept coming back said it all. That and all the screaming and moaning.

"God dammit James." She snapped from the bathroom, obviously having caught sight of the hickey he left on her perfect neck. "Every fucking time. Is this a guy thing or something?" She called, moving some things around in there before heading back out in one of his shirts. It fell around her knees, hanging around her like a giant dress. He wasn't a huge man, but far bigger than her 5'1" and her wasp thin size 2 waist. "Marking me as your own or something?" She scoffed, crawling into the bed with him and leaning against the head board with him.

"That's exactly it." He grinned, moving one of her blonde curls back to press a kiss over the hicky. She rolled her head to the side, giving him better access. He chuckled, before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer. "Not that I have to worry about you being with any other guy." He shrugged.

"Hmmm," She sniffed, jerking back and glaring at him. "How do you know I'm not sneaking off to someone else's room after this?" She questioned, giving one of her famous smiles.

"Cuz I know you're not gonna get anything better then me." He grinned cockily, smashing a kiss to her perfect, pink lips. She smiled against his lips, tangling her fingers in his hair. That was an unspoken rule between them. He didn't sleep with any other girl, she didn't sleep with any other guy. Even if they joked about it. Jim didn't know why he liked it that way. It's not liked he would have cared if she was with anyone else. He wasn't sure of her reason either, even if she joked it was to make all those "snippy bitches who hung all over him mad."

Everyone knew they were... "with" each other. They didn't really hide the fact that they were sleeping together. McCoy, Spock, and even little Chekov had walked in on them somewhere around the ship. It was no secret that they were doing it.

"Hey, just before we get this going again." Natalya piped up suddenly, pushing him back with her tiny hand. He sighed, digging his hands into her waist for emphasis that this better be fast. "Could you just last a teeny bit _longer _this time? I mean really you were done so quick that-"

"Shut the hell up." He growled, smashing his lips against hers again. She giggled, a sweet, pure sound as she pulled him closer. "You love every minute of it." He mocked after pulling back.

"Please." She mumbled, moving on top of him before he could protest. "My turn on top, _Captain. _" She smiled coyly, racking her nails down his chest and getting him hard instantly. "Give me a hickey again and you won't have a dick anymore, got it?" She whispered, licking the outside of his ear.

"Got it." He grinned, pulling her closer and going for round two.

* * *

Natalya growled, leaning closer to the mirror as she tried- in vain, to cover up one of the marks James left on her neck. Even mounds of make-up wouldn't cover that stupid mark up. She really was going to rip him a new one. She knew he just loved to leave hickeys where everyone could see so he could see his handy work. Fucking ass-hole.

"I'd let you use my make-up," Nyota mumbled from outside the bathroom. "But it's a bit too dark for you."

"I don't think it will help. I swear to God..." She snapped, throwing down the make up with a sigh. "Who cares. Not like he hasn't done it before."

"Just stop there," Nyota warned, settling herself into a chair. "I don't want to hear about James T. Kirk's midnight adventures."

Natalya smirked, leaning back into the couch and settling in. Nyota and Spock's quarters were a bit bigger then hers, due to the little rug rat they had running around. Amanda was three and a half and the cutest little kid Natalya had ever seen. While Spock still freaked her out a bit, she had to admit he had a cute kid. The little girl was currently playing with a doll on the floor and quietly watching some child's show on the T.V. She was a perfect mixture of her mother and father, with Spock's pointed ears and straight black hair and Nyota's eyes and skin color. Natalya didn't usually like kids, but Amanda was pretty good for a three year old.

"What did Uncle Jim do at midnight?" Amanda asked, glancing over at her mother with curiosity. Nyota bit back a laugh, glancing over at her friend with a "look what you caused" look. Natalya shrugged, giving a little laugh.

"Me and Uncle Jim wrestled last night." Natalya said, making Nyota throw a pillow at her. Amanda glanced at her mother curiously before going back to her doll. Natalya bit back a laugh.

"Thank you for corrupting my three year old." Nyota mumbled after taking Amanda for her nap. "I'm sure Spock is gonna love when she asks about that."

"Like she isn't going to ever walk in on you two banging." Natalya smiled, flipping through the different channels in boredom. Nyota threw her head back and laughed, muttering something about hoping to God that never happened.

"So, you think you can skip fun time with Kirk tonight?" Nyota asked suddenly, running her fingers through her hair. "We only have a week left of shore leave and I'd like to go out to the bar just us girls for once. I don't know if I can stand seeing you and Kirk dry humping each other on the dance floor again." Nyota mumbled, giving a fake gag for emphasis. Natalya laughed before nodding her head.

"Sure. I think I can spare one night of rough love making for you. Anyone else going?" She asked, looking over toward her friend. Nyota ignored her smart ass comment to answer the question.

"Just Charlotte and Laura."

"Alright," Natalya said, settling on some old movie. "Around 8 right?"

"Yep." Nyota said. "We were gonna go to- Natalya?"

She stopped, glancing wide eyed as the blonde shot up and to the bathroom. Nyota followed, looking concerned as she saw her friend dive for the toliet and vomit into the bowl. She winced, quickly moving to Natalya's side to grab her hair up out of her face. Natalya's stomach heaved again and then one last time before she fell back against the wall, pale and sweaty. "Jesus," Nyota mumbled, flushing the toilet and grabbing Natalya some water. "We aren't even drunk yet and your getting sick."

"I must have ate something." Natalya mumbled, sipping the water and running a hand through her hair. Nyota gave her another thing of water before sitting down next to her.

"I guess tonight is out for you." Nyota sighed, watching her friend clutch her stomach a bit.

"Guess so." Natalya mumbled before promptly getting sick all over again.

* * *

"So I hear you're puking your guts out." James smirked, emitting a death glare from Natalya. She was wearing one of his over sized shirts, her hair tied up in a messy bun and looking pale.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She asked, walking toward her kitchen and grabbing a steaming cup of what he assumed was tea. Her favorite was mind tea, he remembered. She made it for him one night when he was feeling shitty from some air borne disease he caught on some planet they visited. After getting sick all day, aching all over and having to listen to an hour long lecture from Bones about different diseases, he felt pretty crappy. That mind tea though... damn it was good. "You should leave unless you want to get sick."

"I just thought I would come see you for a minute." He said, wrapping his arms around her from behind and pressing a kiss over the hicky she tried- and failed- to cover up. "Did you go to Bones?"

"Why?" She shrugged, sipping a bit of the tea and turning to face him. "It's just the flu."

"You should go and make sure." James said, rubbing her back gently. "Bones knows you didn't go and he'll sit you down for a three hour long lecture on several diseases you could have contracted and something about your eyes falling out and all that shit."

She giggled, leaning back against the counter and nodding. "I guess. I'll go in a little bit."

"Alright." He murmured, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Get better. Can't have you sick too long or I'll have get all backed up." He grinned, squeezing her hips before pulling back.

"No," She grinned cheekily. "That's what the blow up doll is for."

He chuckled, kissing her hair before heading toward the door. He gave another get better before exiting and leaving her alone. Natalya finished off her tea and got dressed, deciding to just go to Bones now and get it over with. The old grouch better give her some hypo spray and let it be done with. She exited her quarters before heading down to sickbay. She knew Bones would be there, like always. The guy seriously needed a girlfriend.

She knocked on his temporary office door, letting herself in without even asking. Unlike most of the nurses that scurried around the sickbay, she wasn't afraid of him. More amused then afraid really. Bones glanced back at her, his face red and angry all ready. "Did I say you could come in here Rider?" He snapped, sorting through some more things and then standing straight to glare at her.

"I'd thought you would want to know you're favorite Engineer is sick." She shrugged, moving toward a chair and folding her arms. Bones sighed, grabbing one of the scanners and a PADD.

"What's wrong then?" He snapped, moving the scanner over her head first then working his way down.

"Getting sick, general feeling shitty kind of thing. I'm guess flu, but I thought I would come to the almighty CMO to make sure." She said, lifting her arms when he moved down. Glancing at his PADD, his eyebrow's furrowed as he pulled back. "What's the prognosis doc?" She asked, leaning back in the chair.

"When was you last menstrul cycle?" Bones asked, typing something on the PADD and looking over at her. That wasn't something she had expected. She sighed, counting back.

"About a month and a half ago. I've been pretty irregular since I got on the birth control though." She said, shrugging. Bones purses his lips, running his fingers over the PADD again.

"You forget to take the birth control at all?" Bones questioned, looking over at her again. She frowned, not liking where this was going.

"No." She snapped, glaring up at him. "It's the flu Bones. There's no possible way I'm pregnant."

"You telling me Jim and you are just playing dress up every night?" Bones questioned, raising his eyebrow and looking down at her. This wasn't happening. Her and Jim were extremely careful. He wore condoms, she took birth control. There was absolutely no freaking way she was _pregnant. _

_"_No," Natalya hissed, folding her arms and glaring at him. "We're protected though. There is no way I'd be sleeping with him if we weren't. Run that little scanner over me again." She ordered. Bones shook his head though, pressing something on the PADD again.

"Well shit, no wonder." He mumbled, looking down at her. "Didn't the nurse tell you that taking those antibiotics two months ago would make the birth control stop working?"

"W-what?" She stuttered, thinking back. She had taken some antibiotics to help prevent some sickness when she went down to some new planet a couple months back. She tried to remember what the nurse had said... if anything. Nothing. "No, damn bitch didn't say anything! God dammit are you kidding me?" She cried, standing up and pacing the small office. "Scan me again, Bones. James still used a..."

She trailed off, feeling her stomach twist. Oh fuck.... oh fuck, oh fuck, oh FUCK! They had drank that night at some feast welcoming them to the planet. The night was fuzzy and Natalya couldn't remember for the life of her if Jim had put on some protection. Oh, fuck. "We were drunk." She mumbled, falling back into the chair. She was going to get sick again. She was going to puke all over this god damn office. She couldn't be _pregnant. _There was no freaking way. "Ju-just do a ultrasound. Please Bones. I seriously can't be pregnant."

"An ultra sound at a month wouldn't be able to tell us much. Blood results would be the most accurate." Bones said, running his fingers through his hair. "You two are damn idiots." He said shaking his head at her.

"Dammit Bones I don't need that right now!" She cried, slamming her hand against the wall. "Just-just do the fucking test and see if this is for real."

"Alright." Bones mumbled, moving out of the office and onto the medical bay. He returned minutes later, a needle in one hand and a vial in the other. "These results will take about fifteen minutes." He said. She shrugged, just sticking her arm out eagerly. His stupid scanner was faulty. There was no way...

He drew some blood quickly, heading out toward the computer in the other room and leaving her alone. Her head swam, hundreds of different things going through her mind. How the hell was she supposed to be a mother? She wasn't good with kids. She was horrible. And James! What the hell was he going to say when he found out? He would leave her ass. Bolt. Run as fast as he could.

This wasn't supposed to happen, Dammit! Her and James, what they were doing wasn't supposed to result in this. It was supposed to be some fun, something to give her what she wanted- sex. It wasn't supposed to get her a god damn _baby. _Oh, she was going to kill James if he got her pregnant.

Natalya lay her head in her hands, feeling tears prick her eyes. What was she going to do? _How _was she supposed to do this_? _She couldn't do this. A baby. That was too much.

She sniffed, quickly blinking back the tears when Bones moved back into the office, holding some long paper. "Just tell me it's negative." She whispered, hating how weak and helpless she sounded. Bones sighed, shaking his head.

"Sorry, kid." He mumbled, laying down the paper. "You got yourself pregnant."

She grabbed the waste paper basket and puked.

**There's the first chapter. Love it? Hate it? Should I continue?! **

**Answer these questions in a REVIEW! **

**please. **

**Peace!**


	2. What to Do?

**So here is the second chapter to Baby, Baby. Thank you for those of you who reviewed and alerted and added to favorites. I just freaking love it! lol. **

**Please review again loves. It makes me all warm and tingly inside. **

**P.S. Does anyone else miss Heath Ledger as much as I do? I was watching 10 Things I Hate About You (movie cuz the other show on ABC Family is just gay) when I wrote this and it just made me so sad! R.I.P Heath. He was one hell of a Joker! lol**

**Sorry, now let the story begin. **

**I own nothing but Natalya and the baby and the plot!**

"Natalya? Hey, you in here?"

James moved through her quarters, heading straight toward the bedroom. It had been almost a full week since he had seen her. She had beamed him after he tried coming by three times, telling him she was too sick to see him and just to leave her alone for a while. He did as she said, respecting her space but after 5 days of this, he was getting a bit worried. They may not be in a relationship, but he still cared about her.

"Natalya, come on, where are you at?" He called again, knocking on the bedroom door. That's when he heard it. Someone getting sick in the toilet. Damn, she was still sick? "Natalya?" He called again, over riding the door and heading inside. He quickly made his way to the bathroom, grabbing her hair up and rubbing her back. "Shit. I thought you said you had the flu?" He said when she was done. She sighed, leaning back against the wall and wiping her mouth. He ran his fingers through her hair gently, looking over at her with concern.

"It's some other virus." She mumbled, not even looking over at him, just laying her head on her knees and taking deep breaths. "What are you doing over here? I told you to leave me alone."

"Glad you missed me so much, beautiful." He smarted off, smoothing back her hair. "Thought I would come check on you. You need me to do anything?" He asked, leaning forward to kiss her hair. She jerked away from him, making him look over at her curiously.

"I don't need anything. J-just leave me alone okay?" She snapped, gathering her hair up and tying it back.

"Natalya-" Jim started, but she shook her head, standing up and flushing the toilet.

"I don't wanna see anyone right now James. I feel like shit and I have to much shit going on. Just.. please." She mumbled, rubbing her face tiredly. He had to admit, she looked pretty shitty.

"Alright." He said, throwing his hands up. "I'll beam you later though. If your not feeling better soon, I'm talking to Bones myself."

"No!" She cried, her face paling even more and a look of panic crossing her face. "Don't, just stay out of it." She snapped, shoving him out of the bathroom suddenly. "I can take care of myself."

"Natalya, I'm not concerned about that, I just want to make sure-"

"Well don't!" She cried, shoving him back again. "Just get out!"

And with that the door zoomed shut and a lock clicked right before he heard her get sick again.

* * *

"Pregnant? And Bones is sure-?"

"I made him test me three times. Same thing every time." Natalya mumbled, falling back against the couch and rubbing her face. "This is so fucked up." She whined, feeling tears prick her eyes. She pressed her palms in her eyes, trying to stop the tears. She wasn't going to cry about this. She was going to suck it up and deal with it.

"Wow." She heard Nyota mumbled as she leaned up and sat up to look over at her. "What did Jim say?"

"Nothing. I haven't told him." Natalya answered, giving a little shrug. "I don't even know if I'll have too."

"What do you mean?" Nyota asked, raising her eyebrows at her friend. "You're not seriously thinking about abortion."

"I don't know!" Natalya cried, throwing up her hands. "What else is there, Nyota? Me and James are purely sex. That's all our relationship is built on. I can't have a kid with someone I'm just with for sex. If I James and I were like you and Spock, this would be different." She mumbled, shaking her head in frustration.

"Jim has a say in this though. It's his kid too." Nyota said firmly, watching Natalya carefully.

"I already know what he's going to say. Nothing, cuz he'll be running out the door so fast, he won't have time." Natalya snapped, leaning back in the chair and looking down at her stomach. It was still perfectly flat, so it was hard for her to even imagine something growing in there. It was so weird to think that another being, not even the size of a peanut was growing right now, every second.

"Give him a little more credit here, Natalya. I mean, Jim can be an asshole and all that at times, but he's not the kind of guy to abandon his kid." Nyota assured her, giving her friend a reassuring smile. "You wouldn't be alone in this. I'd help too."

"It's not about being alone. It's about the fact that I _can't do this. _I'm not ready to be a mom. I don't think I ever wanted to have kids." Natalya sighed, laying her head in her hands. "I'm getting rid of it. I'm not telling James and it's all just gonna go away." She said, her voice firm and calm. Her mind was already made up. She would stop this now and never think about it again. It would all end and everything would be normal again.

"You say that like it's easy." Nyota said, shaking her head. "You have no idea how hard it's gonna be."

"I'm not like you Nyota. I didn't want this baby." She mumbled, glaring down at her stomach. How could something not even big enough to see cause this much fucking trouble?

"All I'm saying," Nyota said before rising to head toward her own daughter, "is think long and hard about what your doing, before you go and kill an innocent baby."

* * *

Damn Nyota to hell. Why did she have to say all that shit?

Nyota didn't know. Nyota didn't know what the hell she was going through. When she got knocked up she had a husb- well.. bond mate or what ever the hell Vulcan's called their spouses. They had tried for a baby for almost a year and a half. Nyota wanted Amanda so bad.

But Natalya didn't want this baby. She didn't ask for it. She wasn't jumping into bed with James to try and get knocked up. She wanted no strings attached, mind blowing sex. Was that so fucking hard to ask for? Now this shit had to happen. And she had been so sure, so confident that she was going to just go to Bones, get an abortion and be fine. Then Nyota had to put it like that. _Killing an innocent baby. _Why the hell did she have to put it like that.

_Because that's what you are doing. _

No, she growled. I'm saving this kid from growing up with a shitty mother and a dad who doesn't even want anything to do with it. Not that she knew that for sure. What if Nyota was right? What if James did step up, help her, take care of the kid when it was born? What if James ended up being this amazing father and Natalya ended up being an okay mother? What if they-

No. She knew James enough to know he didn't want a kid. If he wanted a kid he wouldn't be fucking around with random girls. He wanted to be a playboy and think nothing of it. He was _that _guy. The one who wanted nothing but sex, sex and more sex. That's why she had chosen him to do this little... thing with. Because he didn't want attachments, he didn't want to settle down with her. They could have fun without getting hurt. It was perfect.

Then this. This baby. This little human being growing inside her, half James, half her.

Oh, fuck Nyota! She was perfectly fine with the plan before.

Natalya grabbed the empty bowel, chucking it across the room in a blind fury. Why did this have to be so complicated? Why did she have to _feel _something for the little peanut- sized kid growing inside her? It wasn't even really alive? It didn't have lungs, it didn't have a brain or a heart.

But it was still alive. It was something that could be given the chance to live, to grow up, to be a good person.

If she chose to let it.

Adoption was an option. She still didn't even have to tell James if she went through with it. She could tell an Admiral, request leave and go off and have the baby, all while James was still doing his thing on the Enterprise. He never would have to find out. She could have the baby, give it to some loving family and go back like nothing ever happened.

"Why did this have to happen?" She whispered, pressing a hand to her belly.

She growled, closing her eyes and clenching her fist on her stomach. No, she was going to stick with the plan. She pushed back the nagging feeling in her stomach, shoving the cover aside and marching toward the medical bay. She was going through with this. This was her body, this was her choice. At least that was what all the stupid abortion pamphlets said.

Bones was there of course. He was talking with some young nurse, a sweet, shy looking girl. Natalya didn't care, she just marched up to him, grabbing his arm and jerking him to the side. "Dammit Rider, what the hell are you doing?" He snapped, glaring down at her and yanking his arm away.

"I need an abortion," She hissed quietly, glaring right back at him. "I don't care what you say, I've made up my mind."

It was made up. No going back. This was the only option.

Then why did she feel like she was going to pass out? Why did she have that nagging voice in the back of her mind, reminding her that this was a person. A real person growing in her stomach.

"Natalya... that's a big decision. Did Jim say-"

"James doesn't know. He doesn't need to know. This is my choice and if you won't do it then I'll go get some other nurse." She snapped, folding her arms and glaring at him. He sighed, grabbing the bridge of his nose and shaking his head.

"I hope you know what your doing here." He mumbled, jerking his head toward his office. "Go on inside, I'll be there in a moment."

"Hurry up." She ordered, heading toward the small doctors office and jumping up on the bed.

She felt so sick. It wasn't the morning sickness and she knew it. It was her mind... trying to freak her out. She could do this... she could do this...

She closed her eyes, laying back against the bed. She heard Bones enter the room and her heart thudded in her chest.

Oh, God.

Oh, hell.

She couldn't do this.

But it was the only option.

"Alright, I'm just gonna explain what's gonna happen and how this works..."

* * *

"You're what?"

James stared down at her, a look of disbelief on his face. It was a bit of a shock, Natalya admitted as she glanced over at the picture he had of his mother on his dresser. It was two days before they had to go back and she understood where this was coming from.

"Staying here on Earth. I just don't feel like going back on the Enterprise." She shrugged, hoping her face stayed even and calm. She never was a good liar, but James didn't know that. They never talked enough for him to know that.

"Don't feel like it?" He gaped, folding his arms and glaring at her. "And the Admiral just let you go because you didn't _feel _like going back?"

She gulped, making sure not to meet his eyes. If she did, he'd know. She was sure of it.

He'd know she was lying. He'd know she was going to stay here and have the baby.

Their baby.

Natalya couldn't do it. She freaked. Nyota's voice was pounding through her head and the thoughts of that poor little baby dying. So as she sat there, listening to Bones explain what an abortion would do to her body, she got up and told him no. She felt tears slide down her cheeks as she wrapped her arm around her stomach and the little baby growing in there and say no.

So here she was, lying to James. Telling him the first thing that came to her mind. Because no matter what Nyota said about James, she knew it wasn't true. James wouldn't want this baby, and she wouldn't burden him with it. So she was leaving, going off and having this baby by herself. Whether she would keep it or not she wasn't sure, but she would have 8 long months to think it over.

"No, I offered to teach and he agreed." Lie number million it seemed like. "I'm just bored of the Enterprise, James. I'm bored of space, bored of the people up there, bored of this whole thing." She replied coolly, waving her hand between them. James raised an eyebrow, something crossing over his face she couldn't tell what it was.

"Bored? You're bored of us?" He scoffed, folding his arms and a cocky smile coming over his face. "Is that why you come back every night?"

"James, look," she sighed, shaking her head and tugging nervously on a blonde curl. "This was great. The sex was good. But I'm just done with it. I'm staying here. You're free to do whoever you please up there. Why would that bother you?" She said, trying to give him a little smile. But those perfect lips of his turned down in a frown.

"So I'm supposed to be okay with one of my best engineers leaving?" He sighed, shaking his head furiously.

"You have Monty." She shrugged, sitting down on his bed and watching him pace.

"I just don't understand where the hell this came from!" He snapped, turning to glare at her again. "Did something happen with Nyota or-"

"No, I'm not five James. Me and Nyota are fine. I just don't want to go back on the Enterprise." She shrugged, standing up and walking toward him. "This was great James, it really was. I like you and I think your a good guy. But this is my decision. Respect it Hun."

He clenched his jaw and examined her with those baby blues. She always loved his eyes. But now it just felt like he was trying to bore into her and try to see what was really going on. So she stood on her tip toes, pressing one last kiss to his lips. He seemed to take it for something else, because he jerked her toward him, deepening the kiss and digging his fingers into her hips. Those were always signs that he wanted some. She pulled back after a moment, shaking her head.

"It's done James." She sighed, pushing back her hair and looking up at him, trying to make him understand.

"Come on, Natalya. One last time before I go." He whispered, his voice husky and deep in her ear.

One last time. One last time with the father of her growing child. She felt a sudden ache in her chest, a throbbing pain at the thought of not seeing James again. She was hormonal and just getting to emotionally overwhelmed. This pregnancy was doing funny things to her.

But she felt her resolve breaking down. As James ran his fingers down her spine and pressed gentle kisses down her neck, she heard herself agreeing. "One last time." She mumbled, burying her face in his neck. Just something to remember him by. Something to remember the man who was going to change her life forever. The man who got her pregnant. Who made another life with her.

When it was all done and over and James had fallen asleep, she slowly slipped off the bed. She grabbed one of his shirts, smelling him on the material and slipped it on. "Good-bye James." She whispered, pressing one last kiss to his lips.

And with that she slipped out the room, barely containing the sob that tore threw her.

**Please review!**

**Ta-ta lovely readers!**


	3. Five Months Later

**Chapter four. I've had a lot of time today so I just decided to post both of my chapters that I wrote lol. Thank you again to all of you who alerted and such! Love it and you!**

**Enjoy!**

_Five months Later_

Natalya sat back in her chair, watching several students shuffle from the room, leaving her finally alone. She was exhausted, one of many side effects of her pregnancy. Thank God this was her last class of today. She could grab her things, a couple stacks of ungraded papers and head home to rest. So she gathered up her things, second checking that she had everything and pulled herself up off the chair and headed toward her apartment.

The last five months had been... hard to say the least. She thought it would be easy, just going to the Academy and teaching, not worrying about James or things on the Enterprise. She didn't think she would second guess everything she was doing like this. Despite how hard she tried not to think about James, it happened almost everyday. Everytime she had to drive herself to doctor's appointments, she wondered if James was here if he would drive her, hold her hand when their baby popped up on the screen. She wondered if he would have drove to the store in the middle of the night when she woke up, craving this or that. She wondered if he would have rubbed her back or her feet when they ached so badly.

And everytime she wondered, that aching feeling filled her chest and she felt like crying. Natalya wasn't usually the kind of person to second guess herself, but she found herself doing it everyday now.

Six months into her pregnancy she still wasn't sure what she was going to do after the baby was born. She had talked to an adoption agency and a couple of councilers on whether or not she was going to give the child up for adoption and how it all worked. She listened to them tell her how hard it was going to be and she wondered if she could really do it. She had been sure of the abortion in the beginning, and then look what happened.

God, she wished she had someone to help her. Maybe not James, but at least someone like Nyota. A friend, anyone.

Her parents weren't helping at all. Natalya and them had never been on that good of terms in the first place and when she had come home, four months pregnant, it had sent them over the edge. She wasn't the most cooperative child growing up. She had never fit into the perfect picture they dreamed up when they had started their family. Having a pregnant, single mother for a daughter had sure as hell never been in that picture.

And Natalya didn't have many friends that she could ask to help. Most of them were long gone, either doing their own thing or in some dump doing God knows what. Nyota was the only person she had been close to for a long time and her friend didn't even know she was pregnant anymore. Bones was the only one on the Enterprise who knew she had kept the baby. She had wanted desperatly to tell Nyota she had kept the baby, but the less people who knew, the better. Bones couldn't- and wouldn't- tell James because of the convenient patient- doctor confidentiality thing. That and Natalya had threatened to kill him if he did.

Natalya sighed, shaking her head and trying to forget all that. This was her fault after all. She had chosen to keep the baby. This was her deal, and she wasn't going to wallow in self pity. It was her and the baby.

Natalya shoved her apartment door open, running her fingers through her blonde hair and heading toward the kitchen immediately. She needed something to eat, bad. That was the worst thing, next to morning sickness, in the pregnancy. Food cravings. Especially during class. So she grabbed herself some chocolate ice cream with Carmel syrup, heading toward the computer and checking for messages. Nyota and her kept contact, but it was harder and harder to write anything to her when so much of it revolved around the pregnancy. Her letters sounded like something you would write to a distant relative you hardly knew.

_Today was good. The kids I teach are pretty smart, but there are a few who just won't get with it. Class clowns, slackers... you know the type. :) Nothing else is really going on. I'm perfectly fine... blah blah blah._

None of them really held what was happening. If Nyota knew, there would be sonogram pictures, doctor appointments, and things about the adoptive agency's in every other letter.

They only ever sent letters though. No video meetings. To risky. She wasn't taking a chance of Nyota seeing her giant, six month belly. So Natalya was surprised when she found a video recording from Nyota in a message.

"Hey!" Nyota burst, a wide smile on her face and Amanda, who looked so big now, on her hip. "I just thought I would tell you that we're coming to Earth for shore leave." What?! "We're gonna be there for at least three weeks." Oh, shit. Natalya felt her heart shoot into overdrive and her hands begin to shake. "There was an attack on the ship. Everyone is fine, but it did some damage to part of the ship and we're coming in for repairs and updates. Don't be surprised if I come and see you." No, no, no, no! "We're going to the bar and there is nothing you can say or do to get out of it. I'll see you later." Nyota smiled, glancing down at Amanda and muttering something to her daughter. Amanda gave a large grin, waving her dimpled hand at the screen.

"Bye, Aunt Natalya!" The little girl smiled, waving her hand with her mom.

"I'll see you later."

The screen went blank, before a reply and a delete button popped up. But Natalya wasn't seeing the screen anymore. She shot up, suddenly feeling extremely sick as she shot off toward the bathroom. She fell to the floor, barely making it in the toilet as she got sick. The baby seemed to sence her distress, because it moved around a bit, kicking her right in the side. "Not now... please." She mumbled, laying her hand over her belly. "God, why?" She hissed, laying her head against the cold metal off the bathtub. This wasn't supposed to happen! She was supposed to have the baby before any of them could find out. This ruined everything.

No.... James still didn't have to find out. The Academy was huge and he probably had a million things to do. And who said he was going to come visit her anyway? Why would he? He probably didn't even miss her. He had probably moved on that next day, banging one of those bitchy girls who glared daggers at her for snagging him. They had probably jumped all over him. She was the last thing on James T. Kirk's mind.

Nyota was another problem. There was no getting out of seeing her. And Natalya wasn't sure if she wanted to avoid her friend. She missed her terribly and maybe having her know would be okay. Nyota was trustworthy and if Natalya asked, she wouldn't tell James. Even if she disagreed, friendship was more important to Nyota. She could depend on her.

But then there was the rest of the Enterprise crew. Of course not all of them knew that her and James were going at it, but those close to James did. Scotty, Sulu, Chekov, Spock. Anyone of them could easily guess who the baby's father was. And if they didn't figure it out, they could still mention the fact that she was pregnant to James. Oh, this was going to be harder then she thought.

And for probably the millionth time in these last six months she asked: Why me?

* * *

Nyota pressed a kiss to her daughters hair and then to her bond mates lips before heading out to see Natalya. She was extremely excited to see Natalya. These last five months on the Enterprise without her were horrible. Nyota didn't really have any other people she was as close to as Natalya.

Nyota wasn't the only one who seemed to miss Natalya. The whole bridge seemed to miss her smart-ass comments and that sly smile. Natalya had been more then "the girl sleeping with Jim." She had been a valued part of the bridge and everyone missed her. Well almost everyone. Nyota knew the girls who had tried making moves on James sure as hell didn't. She had always wanted to punch one of them when she over heard several of them talking about how good it was that that "blonde bitch" was gone. They got even madder after James seemed to refuse them all. Even Jim seemed to miss Natalya and the thing they had. He never said it, but that's what Nyota got from his sour attitude for the first two months she had been gone.

She didn't really understand why her friend left the Enterprise. James had snapped about her "getting bored." It was then she knew James was never told about the pregnancy or the fact that Natalya had gotten an abortion. Nyota could only assume that Natalya had done it and staying around James was a bit to much to handle. Natalya acted fine with the thought of abortion, but Nyota knew her friend wasn't that heartless. Nyota only wished Natalya had come to her after. She didn't agree with getting rid of the baby, but she would have been there for her.

She pushed all that from her mind now as she headed up the elevator to her friends new apartments. She wasn't going to discuss those things with Natalya if she didn't bring it up herself. She didn't want to push her after not seeing her for so long.

She found the apartment easily, knocking and waiting for Natalya to answer. The door opened suddenly, revealing... no one.

"Come in, I'm just getting something." Natalya called from somewhere inside. Nyota laughed, walking into the apartment and glancing around. It was very Natalya with books and PADDs scattered everywhere, along with different dishes and things. Natalya was a messy person, Nyota knew. Looks like nothing changed.

"Thanks for the greeting." Nyota called, heading further into the apartment. "Where are you?"

"Just one minute okay?" She called from somewhere to the left, down a short hallway. "Don't freak out, please."

Nyota raised an eyebrow, wondering what was going on. "Freak out? What, did you get a bad hair cut or something?" She snickered, moving toward a small table and seating herself as she waited.

"No, its a bit... bigger then that." She heard Natalya call, her voice sounding closer as she heard her friend move down the hallway.

It didn't quite click at first. Nyota saw the way her stomach ballooned out and the way her hand cradled it gently. Ah, _this_ was why she had left the Enterprise.

"I...I thought you had a-" Nyota started, shaking her head as Natalya watched her reaction nervously.

"I was going to. I went down to medical bay and told Bones I wanted one and then I just... freaked. That stuff you said about killing an innocent baby and all that totally freaked me out. So I just... didn't do it." Natalya mumbled, moving to sit next to Nyota at the table. Her pale hand rested on her stomach, rubbing up and down nervously. "I... I went to Admiral Bennett and I told him I was pregnant and requested leave. He agreed so I just went and told-" She stopped for a moment, her eyes dropping as she sucked in a deep breath. "I told James that I was bored with the Enterprise and I just came to teach here. I'm not telling him. And you can't either, Nyota." Natalya stressed, her green eyes lifting to watch her friend.

Nyota let out a little sigh, running her hand over her sleek black hair. "Natalya... Jim has a right to know-"

"This is my choice Nyota." Natalya said firmly, lifting her chin up. "This is what I want to do and as a friend... please, please respect my choice." Her voice was more begging now, her eyes pleading as she reached out and grabbed Nyota's arm. "Please."

"O..Okay." Nyota heard herself say, more in shock at her friends pleading then anything. Nyota had never seen Natalya like this. She was always so confident, sure and almost cocky. A female James. Never had she seen her friend beg like this or look so distressed. So she just nodded, squeezing Natalya's hand and smiling. "Okay." She repeated, more sure this time. "I promise."

"Thank you." Natalya breathed, leaning back and looking far calmer. Her hand moved back to her stomach almost absentmindedly.

"What are you going to do after the baby is born? Just... raise it on your own?" Nyota questioned.

"I... I don't know. I've gone to an adoption agency. Even if I kept the baby... I don't know if I can raise a kid. I'm useless with kids." She sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"Adoption... wow." Nyota mumbled, thinking about her own daughter. She couldn't even imagine giving up her Amanda, even if Spock wasn't in the picture. She held her toungue though, respecting Natalya. It was her choice after all. It was about what she thought best.

"It.... it hurts to think about that though." Natalya mumbled, her cheeks getting red as she gazed down at her stomach. "I mean I know I'd be crap as a mom and I don't even know the kid, but I still feel connected to it." She bit her lip, her blonde hair falling like a curtain over her face. "Every time I see the ultra sounds and I heart it's heart beat I just want to keep him or her."

"It's hard not to feel something for a baby growing inside you for nine months." Nyota sighed, leaning back in her own chair. "You'll be okay, Natalya. I'll help you."

Natalya sniffed, lifting her head to give her friend a small smile. "Good... cuz I'm kinda freaked out."

Nyota smiled, watching as her head fell again and her shoulders shook when she began crying. She didn't say anything further, just wrapped her arms around Natalya and let her cry.

* * *

"James, good to see you!"

Jim smiled, shaking hands with Pike as he greeted the older man. "You too sir." He smiled, sitting down in a chair across from Pike's desk after Pike gestured toward it. "It's good to see you."

They started up the conversation as they usually did. Pike asked how his ship was doing, Jim told him about everything that was going on, how the crew was doing. They talked a bit about Pike and his life, his new grand kid and how the rest of his family was doing. After a while, things started to wind down and Jim felt the question that had been on his mind all along on the tip of his tongue. He wasn't sure he wanted to ask it... ask about her. Why should he care? Natalya left the Enterprise and it's not like she "broke up" with him. They never had anything besides the sex anyway. But despite himself... he wondered how she was doing. She was still a friend... even if he was still a little pissed about her up and leaving for not reason other then "boredom."

"So..." Jim sighed, rubbing the back of his neck and trying to sound casual. "How is Natalya Rider doing?" He mumbled, watching Pike. He raised his eyebrows, a bit surprised about Jim asking about a girl before he shrugged.

"She's good last time I talked to her. She's teaching an Engineering class for first years and stuff. It's a bit harder in her situation but she's handling it." Pike shrugged, leaning back in his chair and watching Jim with a knowing look on his face. "You and her have a thing?"

"No, she was a friend though." Jim said, shrugging it off. He wasn't going to discuss his sex life with his Admiral, no matter much he liked Pike. "What situation?"

"Having a baby. Pregnancy isn't easy when you have to deal with a bunch of smart ass students. And from the look of it, the guys not around." Pike answered, shaking his head sadly. Jim froze, his stomach twisting sickeningly. Pregnant? Natalya was... no... there was no way the baby was his. But he was the only guy she had been with. He knew he was.

"How far along is she?" He asked, trying to stop his hands from shaking. It wasn't his... it wasn't his. No way that kid was his.

"Six... seven months. It's why she took leave." Pike mumbled, leaning up. "You alright Jim?"

"I... I gotta go." Jim mumbled, standing quickly. He was in a daze. This was some kind of prank. He had to find Natalya. He was going to settle this himself. There was no way she would hide this from him for _six _fucking months. "It was good seeing you Pike."

"You too..." Pike muttered, sounding a bit confused. He shook Jim's hand one last time as the younger man made his way out the office, walking quickly out the door.

How could she do this? How could Natalya lie to his face like that and go off with his kid? What the fuck was she thinking? Did she just think she could go off and have the kid and never tell him?! He felt his stomach tighten even more at the thought. His kid growing up without a father... just like him. That would _never _happen. He wouldn't let some poor kid go around without a father like him. Jim never in a million years thought he would have a kid, but he wouldn't just ignore the fact that Natalya might be carrying his kid.

He had to find Natalya, now.

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	4. James

**Thank you all for reviewing and adding story alerts. I love it. **

**Please please reivew more. Tell me what you like, tell me (nicely lol) what could be better. I'll love you forever if you do!! **

**Anyhoo, please enjoy this next chapter. **

**I own nothing but Natalya and the plot. **

James paced in front of the office door, trying to summon up the courage to knock. This shouldn't be so hard. He wanted to find out the truth about Natalya, if she really was pregnant with his kid. But on the other... that was fucking terrifying. The fact that he could be expecting a child was scary as hell. Of course if what Pike said was true, he would man up and be there. Even if he was angrier then hell at Natalya for keeping it from him. He wouldn't abandon his kid because Natalya was being stupid for who knows what reason. Was she scared or something? Did she really think that he would have abandoned her and his kid? They didn't talk much during their little... fling... but for God's sake, did she really think he was that big an asshole? There was absolutely no way he would have left his son or daughter without a father. No. Way.

Jim sighed, glaring at her office door. He lifted his fist, knocking three times. He felt his stomach twist dangerously. God he felt almost sick.

"Enter."

She sounded slightly frustrated. Ya well, join the fucking club.

Jim moved through the door, searching the small office and finding her instantly. Her back was to him as she stretched to put some old book he recognized from her quarters on the ship up on a tall shelf. He couldn't see her front at all and for a moment she wondered if Pike was just screwing with him. She still looked the same from the back at least...

"Natalya?" He said, making her give a little jump of surprise, dropping the book and whipping around.

Nope. Pike definitely wasn't screwing with him.

She was still beautiful. Her hair was the same, her face, her perfect curves and her flawless legs. The only difference was her stomach. Her usually perfectly flat stomach curved out, clearly visible underneath her Star Fleet uniform. Natalya was pregnant. Jim felt his head spin.

"James..." Natalya whispered, her face paling as she wrapped her arms around her stomach... like she was protecting it.

He didn't even know what to say. He felt so many different things. Anger, fear, worry, hurt, pain. It all rushed over him in giant gusts, making him dizzy. "God dammit Natalya." He hissed, grabbing the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She breathed, her voice shaking. He'd never heard her like this, scared and unsure. One of the things he liked about her was her air of confidence. She never doubted what she did, just took it at it was. Now she just looked small and scared. Of him.

"Pike said something about you being pregnant." He hissed, glaring at her as he tried to control his anger. "Why the hell would you not tell me?!"

Natalya sucked in a breath, staring ahead of her... not even looking at him. "I thought it was best." She said, her voice stronger, more sure.

"Best that I didn't know that I was having a kid!" He snapped, clenching his fist. "I had a right to know! What were you going to do? Just have the baby and never even tell me! Dammit Natalya!" he cried, slamming his hand against the wall. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. This wasn't helping.

"I didn't... I didn't think you would want it... the baby. So I just asked for a leave. This was my choice." She said, finally meeting his eyes and lifting her chin. But her shaking hand that wasy laying over her stomach was a give away that she was still scared about what was going on. "James... we both know you don't want a kid."

"Don't act like you know what the hell I would do in this situation." He snapped, moving forward. She flinched, taking a little involentary step back. Like he was going to hit her or something. That only fueled his anger. "Do you think I'm some jackass who would leave his kid? I grew up without a father, Natalya. I wouldn't do that to my own kid. I wouldn't have left you alone."

"I... I thought this was best." She repeated, her face hardening and turning a bright red. "It was my choice to come here and do this. I'm the one who's pregnant. I'm the one who has to give birth to this kid and decide what I want to do!" There was that famous attitude of hers.

James sighed, falling back into a chair next to a cluttered desk and lay his head in his hands. "God, Natalya." He whispered. His head was still swimming and his stomach hurt. He felt like shit. "How did this even happen? You said you were on the pill."

She blinked a couple times, taking several deep breaths before she moved to sit in another chair across the office. "It doesn't work when you take antibiotics. I took them when we went to that tiny planet in secter four. The stupid bitch nurse didn't tell me and we got drunk that night..."

"I used a condom." He snapped, clenching his fist. But he knew he couldn't be sure. He didn't even remember that night. Just waking up next to her with a major headache. He couldn't remember for the life of him if he used one. But even drunk... Jim wasn't that stupid was he?

"I'm six months pregnant James. Obviously not." She snapped back, folding her arms and glaring at him. "You were the only guy I was sleeping with. And I didn't get myself in this situation."

"So it's my fault?!" He growled, clenching his fist again. Natalya rolled her eyes, glaring over at him.

"No, James. This isn't anyone's fault. And even if there was... it'd be that God damn nurse." She sighed, leaning up a bit and rubbing her stomach gently. It was so weird that his kid was in there. A small baby that he had created. He felt his head swim all over again.

"You should have told me." He whispered, looking up at her and meeting her beautiful green eyes.

"I didn't know you would feel like this." She mumbled, glancing away from him. "I...I'm sorry." She sighed.

"It's my baby too. I get a say in this." He said, watching as she looked back over at him. She looked... scared.

"I don't know what I'm doing right now, James. I've...I've gone to a couple adoption agencies." She mumbled, twirling her hair nervously.

"Adoption? You want to get rid of it?" He asked, almost sounding... offended.

"Have you ever seen me with Amanda? Or Monty's kid, Johnathan? I'm horrible with kids. I didn't even want any. I can't be a mom." She scoffed, folding her arms again and shaking her head. "It should have a good family. A mom and dad who love it and a home."

"We can't give the kid that? If you came back on the Enterprise we could-"

"I'm not sure about any of this James, okay?" She sighed, running a hand through her long glossy curls. "I just need to rest okay? I'm really tired." She looked up at him, her eyes pleading.

"Y-Ya." He mumbled, standing up and shaking his head. "I... need a couple days."

"That's fine." She said, getting up herself and stretching her back.

"But I am coming back. I _am _apart of this now." He stressed, glaring over at her. She bit down on her perfect bottom lip and nodded almost reluctantly.

"Okay."

* * *

Two days passed before James showed back up at her door. For two nerve wrecking days she just sat around, waiting for him to show up and do God knows what. Maybe he was going to blow up on her again. Maybe he wasn't coming back... he would just walk away and forget about her and his unborn child. For Two days she worried and freaked out.

Then he was there. He looked worn and tired, with dark circles under his eyes and his hair a mess. He looked like he was run over by a bus, to put it nicely. He didn't say a word when he walked in, just moved forward into her apartment like he owned the place and a determined look on his face. She felt her heart beat out of her chest as a giant, gaping silence filled the room.

"I'm apart of all the decisions from here on out." He declared suddenly, squaring his shoulders as he faced her and lifting his chin. "If the kid goes up for adoption that will be _our _decision. Not just yours, _ours. _That," He jabbed his hand at her rounded belly and stared straight at her, "that is my kid too. You can't just make all the decisions because your the one who's pregnant. This baby is my responsibility too and you can't just do whatever you want here. Got it?"

Half of her wanted to lift her chin up in a stubborn look too, scoff and tell him no. The independent half that _hated _being ordered around just wanted to yell at him and ask him who the fuck he thought he was. But the other half, the smarter half knew what he was saying was fair. The baby inside her was his too. And that smarter half was happy he was here, barking out these orders. Because it meant she wasn't alone in this anymore. She wasn't going to be the only one freaking out over this child, wondering if she was doing everything right. The smarter half wanted to reach out, hug James and ball. Because even if she would never tell him... she was terrified of having this baby. She was terrified to make the wrong decision. Now she had someone to help her.

She didn't hug him and cry though. Her independence was still to strong for that. She was never going to let James see she was struggling with all of this. So she pretended to maul that over before she gave a little shrug. "Okay." She said simply, making his head whip around and he stared at her in disbelief. James seemed to think she was going to put up more of a fight.

"Okay?" He questioned, watching her cautiously.

"I...I understand where this is coming from James. I understand that your mad." She said, giving another little shrug as she sat down on her couch. Her ankles and back were killing her. And the baby seemed to be as nervous as she was because it jumped around in there, kicking her ribs and her back.

"Good..." He muttered, sounding almost proud of himself as he sat down in a comfy chair near her. "I want some answers to begin with." He stated, looking back up at her and then down at her stomach. His gazed turned more nervous when he looked at her belly. Like he thought the baby was going to pop out right there and start crying daddy.

"That seems... fair." She said, watching him carefully.

"How far along are you exactly? When is the baby due?" He asked, leaning back in the chair and waiting.

"Six months and three weeks. And the baby is due June 14th." She answered, moving around uncomfortably as the baby seemed to stretch painfully. She pressed a hand to her belly, hoping it would calm down a bit.

"How long did you know you were pregnant... before you left?"

"Just a week. I... I was going to just get rid of it but I couldn't do it. So I decided to just take leave and decide what to do during those eight months." She mumbled. She hated that she had ever thought of getting rid of the baby. She couldn't even imagine what it would be like now.

"You thought about abortion?" He asked, looking over at her with wide eyes. She blushed, hating that she even told him.

"I freaked out James. I mean, it's not like we were in a committed relationship and were all in love and shit. We were just sleeping together. People who just sleep together don't raise babies together." She mumbled, taking a deep breath. "I hate that I even thought about it. And I'm glad I didn't."

He nodded, running his fingers through his hair. "And there hasn't been anything wrong? You and the kid are healthy?"

"Yeah. I mean, about a month ago the doctor was worried because I wasn't gaining enough weight but it's fine now. I'm actually bigger then I'm supposed to be." She shrugged, looking down at her belly. She couldn't imagine getting any bigger then this.

"Do you know if it's a boy or girl?" He asked.

"No... I kinda wanted it to be a surprise." She mumbled, giving a sheepish shrug and shrugging. James nodded, taking it all in.

"Can I..." James suddenly shifted uncomfortably, glancing down at his hands. "Can I feel it move?"

She blinked, caught a bit off guard. James almost looked cute as his cheeks turned the slightest shade of red. Natalya laughed, nodding her head and reaching out for his hand. He stood, moving to take a seat next to her. She grabbed his wrist, pressing his hand against her stomach and waiting for the baby to move. It was sorta odd, having James hand on her after so long. It wasn't like before. She was fully clothed and sitting instead of lying on her back underneath him. But it had the same effect. She could feel the heat of his hand through her shirt as he pressed it into her stomach, trying to feel their baby. She felt suddenly flustered and wanted to shove him away but she didn't. After a few moments of waiting the baby moved, making James jerk his hand back and look alarmed. She giggled despite how flustered she was.

"That... uh, that was weird. Does it hurt?" He asked. It was almost a childish question, but it was sweet.

"Not all the time. That one didn't hurt." She said, grabbing his wrist and pressing it to the same spot. The baby was still rolling around, trying to get comfortable.

"It's weird... but its kinda... cool." He mumbled, gazing down at her stomach oddly. It was a look she had never seen on his face before. It made her heart flutter and a warmth spread through her.

If she wasn't mistaken... it was love.

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	5. Hugs & Kisses

**So... um here's chapter five. Thank you to those of you who left reviews. **

**And...**

**That's about all I have to say. Enjoy lol**

**I own nothing but the plot and Miss Natalya Rider. **

"It's good to see you again, Miss Rider. And I see we have someone else with us today?"

Usually James would have flashed the cute doctor a flashy smile and grabbed her hand to introduce himself. Usually he would stand a bit to close.

But not today. Because he was about ready to shit himself. Today this doctor was Natalya's Dr. and was going to be preforming her ultrasound so they could check up on the baby. His baby. He didn't know why he was so nervous. It's not like he was finding out if Natalya was really pregnant. It was painfully obvious she was. Her stomach was rounded and he had even felt the baby move against his own hand. Natalya was pregnant alright.

But today he was going to have to see that baby up on the screen. He was going to have to face the fact that this kid was real and soon... very soon he was going to be a father.

"I'm... I'm James Kirk. The..." He took a deep breath, forcing himself the say the word. "The father."

The doctor didn't seem to notice his nervousness because she gave a wide smile as she shook his hand. "It's so nice to meet you Mr. Kirk. I'm Doctor Rin. I'll be preforming Natalya's ultrasound today." She said, practically bouncing with peppiness. James nodded, moving to Natalya's side as she laid back against the medical table. She was watching him with those beautiful green eyes, gouging his reaction. He wouldn't let her see him freak out about this. He was being so forceful about being there. He could handle this. He would show her.

"Alright Miss Rider, let's see your baby." Dr. Rin said. Natalya lifted her shirt, revealing her rounded belly as Dr. Rin squirted some clear goo over it. She pressed a monitor to her stomach, looking back over at the screen.

James let out a breath he was holding, tightening his grip on the medical table. It was almost a perfect image of the baby. It was slightly odd shaped, not fully developed yet. Little legs and arms with a big head, curled up in there. It wasn't one of those cute babies you saw mothers totting around. But it was there... growing. It was going to get there. And it was his. His little kid.

He felt his head swim and a sudden wave of dizziness pass over him. Jesus. In less then three months he was going to have a baby. He was going to have to step up an be a father to that little baby on the screen. How was he supposed to do that? He had never had a father. Never had anyone he could look up to like a father. This was so fucking crazy!

"The baby is developing nicely. From the calculations the baby is about 3.4 pounds right now, which is a little big. You might have a ten pounder here." Dr. Rin chuckled, moving the monitor around a bit. "As you can see the baby is..."

James wasn't listening anymore, just staring at that little baby. He knew Natalya was watching him, watching what he was going to do. So he kept his face calm, channeling Spock's emotionlessness. Even though he was freaking out on the inside. But after he got passed the fear he felt... love. Love for that underdeveloped, small baby. Because it was _his _kid.

James had never really loved anyone else but his mother. He had never loved another person. He saw his mother give away love so easily to all those men she dated after his father. He saw her get beaten, cry, and hurt because she gave that love out. He vowed he would never fall apart like that. He wouldn't fall in love. That was why no emotions in his relationship with girls was good. Pure, fun sex was great for him. That was why Natalya and his situation had been awesome. Most girls he slept with fell all over him after, begging for some relationship. But Natalya... _she _had asked _him _for some "adult fun".

_"I heard you slept with Abby from the science department." Natalya said one day, like it was casual. James winced, glancing down at her. _

_"Yeah, big mistake. She got... clingy after." He sighed, running his hand over his hair. Natalya through her head back and laughed, shaking her head at him. _

_"That's what you get for going after someone and not asking if they understand what you want from everything." She smiled, leaning back against the counter and looking smug. "You just want sex right?"_

_James raised his eyebrow's, curious to where this was going. He liked that glint in her green eyes. "Yep, yet all these girls don't seem to get that." _

_"That's why you find a girl who gets it." She smiled, taking a step closer to him and laying her hands on his shoulders. "A girl that understands and wants the same thing. Like me."_

_"And what do you want?" He whispered, pulling her closer. _

_"Good sex. No emotions, no strings, no relationship. Just me and you... sleeping together." She whispered softly, pressing a soft kiss to his jaw. It was an innocent kiss, so opposite to what she was proposing to him. He grinned. _

_"I think I can get behind that."_

Dr. Rin stopped talking after a while and gave one of her smiles as she walked out. James didn't remember a thing she said, he was still staring at the now blank screen.

Natalya pulled him back after she placed her hand on his arm, saying his name softly. "Are you alright?" She asked softly, squeezing his arm softly.

"Fine... that was just..." He shook his head, not even knowing the right word.

"Scary?" She smiled, pulling her shirt down and looking back over at him. "Yeah, I felt the same way the first time I saw the baby up there."

He sighed, suddenly a bit thankful he wasn't the only one. These last few days Natalya seemed so cool about everything. He felt so stupid for being scared when she was so cool and collected. "Ya." He mumbled, helping her slip off the table. "Its different seeing it in there, then just seeing your stomach and feeling it. Makes it real."

"I understand." She nodded, grabbing her coat and pulling it on. They headed out of the hospital and back to his car, getting in and heading back toward the Academy. He wasn't sure what else to say. There was so much more to discuss, but he wasn't sure he wanted to right now. His mind was still blown away by that ultrasound... seeing his kid up on the screen. He knew he would have to talk to her about some more heavy stuff, like what they were going to do after the baby was born, where they were going to say, or even if they were going to raise the kid themselves.

James didn't like the idea of giving his kid up for adoption. It wasn't right. Kids were supposed to stay with their parents. They were both fully capable. If Natalya was some drug addict and he was a drunk, he could understand giving the baby up to some loving family that could raise it right. But they were both fully capable people. He was a Star Fleet Captain, the youngest of his generation, and she was a incredibly inteligent Star Fleet Engineer. Both had good jobs and were upstanding people. They could provide and create a home for the baby. Maybe not a traditional home, with a mom and dad that were happily married with their little daughter or son, but a home none the less. Sure they weren't in love and together, but it didn't mean they couldn't get along enough to raise a kid together. They got along just fine before, even out of bed. James even considered Natalya one of his friends. They could make it work.

"You look really focused there." Natalya pipped up suddenly, pulling him out of serious thoughts. He glanced over at her, giving a little shrug.

"I was just thinking about what we were gonna do after the baby's born." He sighed, pulling into her apartment complex and getting out of the car. Natalya frowned, that little crease popping up between her eyebrows. "You really don't think we could raise the baby?"

"I don't know about you. But me, yeah I'm sure I couldn't." She stated, following him into the elevator and pressing one of the buttons.

"Why? I mean, Nyota said Spock wasn't good with kids either. Her own kid cousins were scared shit less of him, but he's a good father. Amanda's a total daddy's girl." James countered, following her as they headed into her apartment. She headed straight for the kitchen, grabbing some ice cream and looking thoughtful before she answered his question.

"That's different." She mumbled, taking a spoonful of ice cream and leaning against the counter.

"How?" He asked, seating himself in a chair at her table and watching her carefully.

"Because it is James! I just know I'm not gonna be a good mom. And I don't want my kid growing up hating me like I did my-" She cut herself off before she took a deep breath and shook her head. "It's just not a good idea... me raising children."

"Is this about you being afraid? Because I'm a little freaked out too, Natalya." He said gently. It was obviously the wrong thing to say, because her face turned red with anger as she slammed down her ice cream.

"I'm not scared, I'm just not ready for a kid." She snapped, glaring at him.

"If you were Natalya it's not-"

"I'm not scared! I just don't want my kid to grow up hating me because I was a shitty mother!" She cried suddenly, her hands balling into fists at her side. "My parents definition of parenting was controlling my every fucking move so they could mold me into the "perfect daughter." They were shitty parents and I spent half my time hating them. I don't want that to be my relationship with my kid." Her eyes suddenly filled with tears and her cheeks turned even redder. Her head fell as she took several calming breaths, trying to steady herself.

"Natalya..." James whispered, a bit shocked at her sudden outburst. James realized then that he didn't really know Natalya... not outside the sex. He'd never seen her like this, unsure and freaked out. He didn't know anything about her, besides how well she was in bed. He didn't know who or what her parents did, she didn't know where she grew up, what her life had been like.

"I know you want to decide all this stuff together James, but I'm telling you right now I really don't think I could raise this baby if we keep it." She whispered, sniffing and rubbing her cheek. Another thing James had never seen: Natalya cry. He wasn't even aware that she could. She always seemed to confident and lighthearted to cry. He felt guilt well up inside his chest for bringing all this up now. She looked back up at him, her eyes red and her cheeks wet as she lay her hands on her stomach. "I don't... I don't like the idea of giving the baby up either but I can't do it."

"You keep saying I, Natalya. You're not the only one who's gonna be there. I'll help too. I'll help with this kid and I'll help you." He assured her, standing up and wrapping his arms around her. She tensed for a moment and James wondered if she was going to shove him back. Natalya never liked having people help her. That was one thing he had learned about her. But to his surprise she wrapped her arms around him too, hugging him best she could with her belly. "We can drop this for now... but we have to discuss it sooner or later. I only have two more weeks before I have to go back on the Enterprise. We have to work everything out by then." He said gently after he pulled back. Natalya sniffed again, rubbing at her red cheeks.

"Yeah, I know." She mumbled, straightening up a bit. "Thank you James."

She glanced up at him through her long lashes, sending shivers up his spine. He had the sudden urge to grab her up and kiss her, but he stopped himself. He didn't know were the that was coming from...

"Y-ya, anytime." He mumbled, trying to shove down those feelings.

It sure didn't help when she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, making his stomach swoop and his heart beat a little faster. She still smelled the same, like vinella and freesia. He could just reach out and run his fingers through her hair, press his lips against her soft, pink ones...

He jerked away from her suddenly, making her jump and give him a look of confusion.

"I... I have to go." He mumbled, grabbing his jacket and heading out the door before she could even respond.

What the hell was wrong with him?

**Please review. **

**Thank you my dear readers! **


	6. Trying

**Okay so here's the deal, I'm not sure as of now what the sex of the baby is. I'm still trying to decide. I also have no name ideas. So if you would like to sugest names (one for each sex) and the then when I pick you the two I like the most I'll put it up so you can vote for the which name. Sound fair? Awesome lol. Please start putting in names now! YAY!**

**So now that that announcement is over, lets begin chapter six. **

**I own nothing but Natalya and the plot. **

Natalya sighed, turning around in the mirror hating this stupid top. Nothing seemed to fit anymore. Everything made her look fat. She ripped the shirt off, throwing it in the pile of no's as Nyota laughed from the sidelines. "Shut the hell up." She snapped, moving toward her closet and yanking out another top and shoving it over her head.

"I'm sorry but half those tops you tried on were perfectly fine. Nothing is going to cover up your stomach anyway." Nyota commented, grabbing some eyeliner and applying it.

"Why did I even agree to go to the bar in the first place? I mean, I'm pregnant. What the hell is the point of going to a bar when you're pregnant?" She sighed, turning around in the mirror to examine herself. This top was even worse then the last. She started to grab at it but Nyota stopped by throwing a fluffy pillow at her head.

"Stop it! You look amazing. Do you have any idea how good you look for being pregnant?" Nyota said, standing up and adjusting her own dress. "I looked fat and horrible."

"Yeah, right." Natalya mumbled, looking at herself one more time. "I guess this is fine. It's not like anything else is going to look any better."

"That's the spirit." Nyota smiled, grabbing her purse as they headed out the of her apartment.

"You said Spock was coming too? How did you snag that one?" Natalya asked, settling herself into Nyota's car. Nyota grinned, tucking her pin straight back hair behind her ears.

"I used my feminine whiles." She giggled, staring the car and heading toward the bar. Natalya laughed, shaking her head.

"And those work on Vulcan's?" She asked, watching her friend give a sly smile.

"A guy's a guy." Nyota shrugged, sending Natalya into another fit of laugher.

She had missed this the last five and a half months. Nyota was one of her best friends on the Enterprise and was one of the only people she could go to with her problems. It had been lonely without her. She was glad she was going to the bar, even if she did look like a whale.

They reached the bar within minutes. It was a nice place with bright lights and booming music. Several of the girls gave Nyota's glares when she walked in, looking stunning in her little black dress and then odd looks toward Natalya when they caught sight of her pregnant stomach. It almost made her laugh. Not like she was going to be going after any of their guys or anything.

Nyota found the old crew easily, shoving through the crowd to get to the table. It was everyone from bridge. Spock, who looked as stonic and a bit out of place as Nyota took her seat next to him, James, in his civilian clothes and scanning the bar for girls she was sure, cute little Chekov, a soda in front of him, Sulu with a vodka, Bones, looking extremely grumpy and Monty, already half drunk she was sure. None of them seemed at all surprised at her rounded stomach when they greeted her, obviously having been filled in by Nyota or James. She didn't mind. Now that James had found out, it wasn't like she had anything to worry about.

"Looking extremely nice tonight, Miss Rider." Monty grinned, lifting his glass of scotch she assumed as she took a seat next to Chekov.

"Same to you, Monty." She said, smiling at her fellow Engineer.

"Eet ees good to see ju again, Mees Natalya." Chekov said, giving one of his cute smiles. Natalya had always had a soft spot for the little "wiz-kid" and thought he was the most adorable kid ever. "Ju look wery beautiful."

"Thank you, Pavel." She chuckled, ruffling his curls. He turned a bright red, but smiled all the same. "How are ya, Bones, Sulu?" She asked, looking at the last two crew members.

"Good, you?" Sulu greeted, giving her a smile. Bones just gave a grunt as a greeting.

"Good to see you to, Bones." She joked, watching him turn a glare on her.

"Still a smart ass huh, Rider?" Bones snipped back, but Natalya saw the corner of his mouth lift slightly. She laughed before turning her gaze to James. He was watching her, that cocky smile on his lips. This was his setting, the perfect place for him to get a pretty, drunk girl in bed with him. She had seen him work his magic in a bar before. She wondered absentmindedly if he really would take some girl home tonight, even with her here, pregnant with his kid. For some reason that thought annoyed the hell out of her.

"I want to dance." Nyota said suddenly, looking toward her bond mate with eager eyes. Spock raised his oddly angled eyebrow, his trademark as James called it. "Please." Nyota pouted, and Natalya saw her hand slip under the table. Spock's face remained emotionless and calm, but Natalya saw him swallow and swore his ears got a little greener. So this was Nyota's "feminine whiles" in work. Natalya tried not to laugh her ass off.

"Very well." Spock said and Nyota gave a huge smile as she jumped up and dragged him to the dance floor. It was a slower song and even though all they had to do was sway, the half Vulcan still looked stiff and uncomfortable. Nyota looked extremely happy though, which Spock seemed to enjoy. Natalya didn't understand Nyota's love for someone so... stonic, but he made her happy. Natalya liked him for that.

James was in front of her suddenly, that sly grin on his face as he offered her his hand. "Come on, Rider." He said. Natalya shook her head furiously, keeping her hands on the table and her ass in her chair.

"No fucking way, Kirk. I'm not in any condition to dance." She laughed, but James didn't give up. Instead he leaned closer to her, his breath hot on her cheek.

"Come on, Rider. We both could use some time to unwind. We both need this." He whispered, and she felt suddenly felt her head cloud up. His hand lifted hers from the table and despite herself she felt herself rise out of the chair and follow him to the dance floor. She had danced with James several times when they were on leave and was used to feeling his body move against hers. But for some reason this felt entirely different. More... intimate. Like they were like Nyota and Spock.

Natalya shook her head at that thought. They were nothing like Nyota and Spock. They weren't in love, they weren't married. They were two people who just happened to be having a baby together. James T. Kirk would never settle down anyway. He may be okay with raising a child with her, but it didn't mean that he would commit. Not that she wanted that. The whole reason she did her thing with him was to get away from the whole "relationship" crap. Her last break up had been.... messy to say the least. Nigel, the guy she'd been with for nearly three years had broke her heart and went and slept with some bitch, slut named Posey. Three years of her life wasted with a man she thought she would marry, a man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, who just ended up throwing it all away for one night of fun.

That's why James was so perfect for her. She didn't want to do a relationship thing again. She didn't want to risk getting hurt like that. So she just found a hot, sexy guy she could have some fun with. She knew she wasn't going to fall for someone like James. She was smarter then that.

So she would just chalk those few thoughts to the pregnancy hormones.

The song ended and Natalya pulled her arms from James and began to head back to the table. "Not so fast, beautiful." James chuckled, grabbing her arm and pulling her back to him. He wrapped his arms around her waist as a fast beat song pounded through the speakers. "One more."

_Come on, Natalya. One more before I leave._

It was always one more's with James it seemed like.

"No, I can't dance like this." She called over the music, waving her hand at her belly. "I'll jiggle the kid right out of me."

James laughed, his hands digging into her hips softly. "I think you and James Jr. will be fine for one more song." He smiled, grabbing her hand and twirling her around. She couldn't help but catch a bit of his carefreeness. The last few days had taken a tole on both of them and it felt nice to go back to how it was with James before. How carefree and fun it was to be with him, instead of all these pain and seriousness. So she smiled when he swayed with her, staying for just one more song.

* * *

By two in the morning, Monty was drunk, Chekov had been hit on by three girls who looked like prostitutes, McCoy had left with some sweet looking girl with glasses he had talked up at the bar, Spock and Nyota had danced for half the night and Nyota had even had the Half Vulcan consume some alcohol, Sulu had passed out in a corner and James and Natalya had spent the whole night dancing and talking. Natalya loved it. It was just like old times and she didn't even think of all this heavy stuff that was going on with her, James and the baby. She knew it wasn't going to be that way for long... but it was nice to have one night to take a break.

"It's so weird not drinking at a bar. I mean, even Spock drank." Natalya said after James and her began to head back to her apartments. Nyota was a bit to drunk to drive, so she had just took James up on his offer.

"Ya, the things Nyota can get him to do." James laughed, pulling out of the parking lot and heading toward her apartments.

"Her and her feminine whiles." Natalya nodded, eliciting another laugh from James. "I was a bit surprised at you, though."

"Yeah, why's that?" He asked, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye.

"I was sure you'd be talking some girl up at the bar. Even McCoy got some tonight. And Chekov could have if he understood what was going on." She joked, jerking her heels off. Swollen ankles and heels didn't mix. James didn't laugh, or give some smart ass comment like she expected though. Quite the opposite; he frowned.

"That kinda stuff is gonna have to change now." He sighed, rubbing the back of his head as they pulled into her apartment building. He wasn't saying what she thought he was...

No, James T. Kirk wouldn't give up woman... would he?

"What stuff?" She asked, watching him cautiously.

"I can't be bringing home random woman every night. What am I gonna do, have my kid in one room while I'm sleeping with some girl in the other? No..." He said, shaking his head and still frowning. "And even though the baby isn't born yet, I still shouldn't be sleeping around. I need to focus on everything thats happening... with us and the baby." He said firmly, looking over at her. She felt... shocked and for some reason slightly happy. She couldn't believe it though. James T. Kirk was saying he wasn't going to be a womanizer anymore. No more banging a chick every day of the week. That was... huge.

"I...wow." She mumbled, still a bit to shocked for words. "You're really serious?"

He glared at her now, his jaw clenching with anger. "Yes. I'm serious here, Natalya. If... if we do decide to keep the baby I'm gonna try as hard as I can to be a good father. I'm not gonna let that kid grow up like I did." He snapped, his hands tightening around the steering wheel. She felt her hand move to her stomach and her eyes fill with tears. Another thing she hated about being pregnant: she seemed to cry at the drop of a hat. She glanced away from him, not wanting to cry in front of him again. She didn't realize until then how lucky she was to have gotten in this situations with James. It hit her like a ton of bricks. She could have been stuck with some asshole who wouldn't even give her the time of day after finding out. But she was lucky enough to get James. James, who wanted to do right by this kid. James, who wanted to keep the baby and raise it _together. _He kept emphasising that he would be there for her. That this was his responsibility too.

She realized then that maybe they could do this thing. Raising a baby together. Maybe they could have this baby and keep it. Until this moment she kept thinking about how _she _was going to be such a horrible mother, and how _she _couldn't raise a baby. But she had never thought of _them _raising a baby together. James may be a part of it now, but until that moment she still hadn't really put him in the picture. Even with all the things he kept saying and now the lifestyle she knew he loved was being put aside so he could be a good father and focus on them.

And Natalya didn't want to get rid of the baby. She knew being a mother and kids might not come easy to her but she still loved this little baby growing inside her. She loved it even more now that she had heard James say all these things. Because the baby was half James... and she had to admit, James was an amazing man.

"I wanna try." She whispered, trying and failing to blink the tears away.

"Try?" James asked, sounding confused and still slightly angry.

"To... to raise the baby. Together." She breathed, wrapping her arms around her middle. "If we do it together I think I can... can do it." She sniffed, wiping at her cheeks as the tears slid down her cheeks.

There was a silence, one that seemed to grow louder with each passing second. She wondered if James was lying about all of it, never really thinking she would give the baby up. But after his answer, she felt guilty and stupid for even thinking that. "Okay..." He whispered, looking over at her with a small smile. "We'll try."

* * *

James ended up staying over that night because by the time he was about ready to head home it was five o'clock at night. They had went up to her apartment after the talk in the car and continued talking for three more hours. They sorted out almost everything. The only thing they weren't sure of: where they were going to raise the baby. James wanted them both aboard the Enterprise. He wanted Natalya to quit her teaching job and come back to the ship. They could have the baby in space and raise it on the ship, just like Nyota and Spock were doing with Amanda. Natalya wished desperately to go back to the ship, she had always loved space. But space was dangerous. For God's sake the only reason James was here was because the ship had been attacked. When she presented that argument, he had only pointed out that no one was hurt.

But staying on Earth wasn't an option either. Because James had said if she did choose to stay here, he would too.

Natalya didn't know James well, but she knew he couldn't last long on Earth. He would hate it here. He would go insane and then he would resent both her and the baby. Raising a kid like that wasn't good either.

So they were at a stand still. But they would figure it out. It would have to be fast though. James only had two more weeks.

It was twelve in the afternoon by the time Natalya woke up. She had slept on the couch right in the middle of a conversation if she remembered correctly. James it seemed, had gotten her a pillow and blanket. That was... sweet. She was just seeing all new sides to James. If only he had carried her to her bed. The couch had killed her back.

"Bout time you woke up."

She gave a scream, nearly falling off the couch in a tangle of sheets. "Fucking...dammit James!" She cried, now fully awake. The baby seemed to wake with her, because she felt it kick her right in the ribs. Great start already.

"You gonna use that smart mouth around our kid?" He asked, giving her a cheeky grin as he ate some cereal out of a bowel.

"Fuck you." She mumbled, rubbing her eyes and leaning up off the couch. Her back cracked as she stretch. Damn that hurt.

James just chuckled at her insult, flipping through some of the channels and landing on some wrestling show. "Breakfast is in the kitchen," he said, and she suddenly smelt something extremely good wafting into the living room. Her stomach rumbled, making James laugh. "Baby's hungry?" He commented.

She stood, rubbing her back before she set off toward the kitchen. She stopped near James though, bending over to press a kiss to his cheek. He looked over at her, clearly confused and almost looking... flustered. "That's a thank you." She smiled, laying her hand on her stomach. "For last night."

"Ya." He muttered. She noticed him move his cereal bowel suddenly and she realized why he was so flustered. Jeez, was one little kiss getting him hard? Maybe not getting laid last night had made him even more horny today. She bit back a laugh, leaning down close to his ear. She wondered how far she could go with this... "What the hell Natalya?!" James gulped. She had never seen him like this. Cocky, yes. Confident, yes. Full of lust, yes. But never flustered over anything she did.

"Must be the hormones," She joked, leaning back and smiling sweetly at him. "You can take care of your little hard on in the bathroom. It's down the hall." She laughed, heading toward the kitchen.

"God, your a tease." He snapped.

She heard the bathroom door slam a couple moments later.

**So their keeping the baby. Hip, hip, horray! **

**Got some seriousness in the chapter. Got some fun. **

**James might seem a little OC in this chapter I guess. Not sure and I hope not, cuz I didn't intend for that. I mean, I seriously think if James got a girl pregnant, he would be supportive and help her. Cuz underneath all his "swagger" I guess you'd call it, he's a good guy. **

**I don't know, I'm rambling now. **

**Just please review!**


	7. One the Road Again

**Thanks to all of you who reviewed the last chapter! **

**Please, please send me some name suggestions for both boys and girls when you review! It would really be appriciated and your name may just be the lucky winner lol. **

**So here is chapter 7, as always please Enjoy!**

**I own nothing but Natalya and the plot. **

Someone was knocking at the door. Loudly. At 6:34 in the freaking morning.

Someone was going to get killed.

Natalya growled, throwing back the covers and marching toward the door. If this was Nyota, as much as she loved her friend, she was going to kill her. It had taken hours to get to bed, between the baby and worrying about all the shit with James. The knocking became more frantic as she headed down the hallway. "Calm the hell down, I'm coming!" She snapped, yelling Enter after and the door shot open. James came in, looking slightly panicked and extremely worried. "James you better have a damn good reason for waking me up because-"

"I have to leave in two days." He said, running a hand through his hair and staring at her wide eyed.

"W-what? You still have a week and a half-"

"No, they just told me that the updates and repairs are practically done. The only reason we had to wait so long was because they needed a shipment to come in and it came early. This is-" He trailed off, not able to come up with a word. Natalya shook her head, sitting down at a chair and sighing.

"Can't you ask for a couple more days? I mean if the crew is visiting family and stuff then they need more time to get back." She pointed out.

"They need us out soon anyway. They want us to head out to sector 2 and do some crap there. Jesus." He sighed, rubbing his face tiredly. "We have to work this out, Natalya. If you're not coming aboard the Enterprise I have to tell them now that I'm staying-" But Natalya was already shaking her head. "I'm not missing my kids birth. And I said we'd do this thing together. I can't be here with you _together _when I'm galaxies away." He snapped, folding his arms stubbornly.

"I get that James, I do. But we both know you would hate being stuck on Earth. You'd go stir crazy and then you'd start hating me and the baby." She sighed, laying her hand over her stomach.

"Then the only other option is for you to come on the Enterprise!" He cried, throwing his hands in the air. "Nyota has Amanda up there with her. Spock and her are just fine up there with her. And there are other people on other ships who have kids with them."

Natalya bit her lip. He was right. Amanda was being raised in space and she knew if Nyota really thought the ship was bad she would stay on Earth with Spock and Amanda. But she didn't, she raised her family there. She had gone through her whole pregnancy on board. Plus... Nyota could help her through everything. The rest of the pregnancy, birth and actually being a good mom. There was only so much Nyota could tell her through beaming her. But her being there in person would be ten times better. And it wasn't like there was anyone here she would be leaving. She had kept to herself for most of the five and a half months she had been teaching down here. The only people she really cared about and had connected with in recent years were on the Enterprise too.

Natalya had to admit the pros out wieghted the cons here. So she bit her lip and gave a defeated nod.

"Okay... if Admiral Bennett will let me, I'll go with you." She whispered, watching James' head snap up and a giant grin spread across his face.

"You're serious?" He asked cautiously, still looking extremely overjoyed though. She rolled her eyes, smiling slightly at how happy he was and nodding.

"No I'm yanking your dick- yes I'm serious. There's more pros then cons in this situation." She shrugged. James let out a little breath he had been holding, smiling widely.

"Thank you." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I would have, but I didn't want to abandon ship." Natalya laughed, shaking her head. James grabbed her arm, jerking her up suddenly. "We need to go talk to him now, get everything settled."

"James seriously it's seven in the morning and I look like shit-" She protested, but he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her out the door. God, someone was excited.

* * *

Two days passed quickly for Natalya and James. Not only was James having to run around getting things together with the Enterprise and his crew, he had to help Natalya with packing and getting things wrapped up to get aboard the Enterprise. Nyota helped quite a bit when he couldn't, something he was extremely thankful for, and Natalya was ready to move by the time it was ready to go. Her things were set aboard the ship in new quarters for her and the baby. They had materials sent for the baby's room when it was time to be set up. Natalya had insisted on green things since they didn't know the sex of the baby and so several boxes of green baby things were put into the room with the rest of her things. To say it wasn't all slightly hectic was a total lie.

"So, how good does it feel coming back?" Sulu joked with Natalya the day of boarding, following them through the processing center. Natalya smiled, following him through the scanner.

"Alright," She shrugged, obviously playing it off. James gave a laugh, nudging her.

"She started crying when Bennett cleared her to come back." James joked, and Natalya smacked his arm.

"Oh, that mouth of yours I didn't miss." She laughed, patting his cheek roughly. He laughed.

"So ya did miss us down there, Rider?" Monty smiled, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and crushing her to him. "God, knows I missed ya. Damn Ensign who replaced ya didn't know a damn thin'." He sighed, shaking his head sadly.

"You're gonna have to wait for a couple more months for her to start working again, Scotty." James warned as they moved to the docking station. Natalya whipped her head around, raising her eyebrows.

"What? I can still work. For at least another month." She stated, lifting her chin stubbornly. James already knew this was gonna be another argument. Before all there arguments, whether it was before when they were in bed or now when they were discussing the baby she always lifted her chin and narrowed her eyes.

"Maybe teaching, but not Engineering." James pointed out, giving her his own stubborn look. "Right Bones?" He asked, looking over toward the doctor for conformation.

"You can't lift anything over five pounds, so Engineering...." Bones mumbled, giving a little shrug. Natalya glared at him while James gave a truimphant smile.

"While Lt. Natalya may not be able to return to all that she did before, she still could help Mr. Scott run the transporter room. It would not require physical strain." Spock put in. "Nyota continued working up until her 8th month of pregnancy, just not as many hours." Natalya beamed at her friends bond mate. She would have slapped his arm in thanks... but she didn't really know what the half Vulcan would do so she just gave him a little smile.

"Thank you, Spock for that wonderful logic." Natalya smiled, giving James a smug little smile as she settled into the shuttle seats. They were uncomfortable and hard, but it didn't matter. Between winning her little argument with James and the excitement of going back to the Enterprise, not much else mattered to Natalya.

The Enterprise was almost exactly the same it seemed like. From the outside and the inside. The metal walls were still a bright white and computers were found everywhere. It was... home. And Natalya was surprised how much she really did miss the ship. Not just the people, but the place itself.

She found her rooms easily. They were in the same general area as Nyota and Spock's. It was larger, almost as big as her apartments were back on Earth. Her things were there, unpacked and still boxed. Natalya didn't bother with that though, she headed straight to the baby's room. It was smaller then hers, but roomy. Several different boxes were lined against the wall. A crib, a changing station, a green dresser, a rocking chair.

Natalya suddenly felt her chest constrict and her head swim. Two months. Just two months and the baby would be born and would be living in this room. It was so overwhelming. Sure, Natalya had agreed on keeping the baby and raising it with James, but it still terrified her. And even before they could get to raising the baby, she had to have it first. Birth... that was just as terrifying as raising the baby. She remembered visiting Nyota when she was in labor with Amanda. Even in the early stages it looked extremely painful. And as Natalya waited outside the birthing room she could hear Nyota scream. It sounded horrible. Nyota had been through 30 some hours of labor in all. 30 hours of pure pain. Natalya never did have a high pain tolerance.

She sat down in the rocking chair, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. She had two more months. She would be fine by then. More prepared. It would all be fine. At least she hoped. She just kept repeating that as she rubbed her stomach gently.

Her and James could do this.

* * *

The first few weeks aboard the ship went fine. James had finally broken down and agreed to let her help in the transporter room, just as long as she didn't try and go fix things and such. "Leave it to Scotty." He had said. Natalya had gritted her teeth, but agreed. She hated that he was treating her like she was freaking disabled, but she understood. It was kind of sweet if she really thought about it.

Everyone seemed happy to have her back. She talked and ate with everyone from bridge just like before. She would never tell any of them this, but she really had missed them. The only people who didn't seem happy to have her back were James' little fan club of girls. After it got around that Natalya was pregnant with his baby the girls seemed to hate her even more then before when she was just sleeping with him. She had over heard several conversations about the "knocked-up slut" James was parading around with. It didn't really bother her, the girls had said the same things before she had gotten pregnant. It always made her laugh actually. Like they wouldn't have jumped into bed with him the minute they were given a chance. Only difference was they didn't get there first. Some of the girls who weren't all talk seemed to think that they could distract James and get him into bed still. Some of them had even had the balls to come up and hit on him right in front of her. At least she got to see the looks on their faces when he turned them down.

Only thing was when they got turned down, most of it was taken out on her. Not that she couldn't handle it, but it got old after a while. She still remembered a particular girl from the first few days back.

_Natalya sat down at a table by herself, munching away on her chips. The rest of the crew were still working or finishing up and she didn't feel like waiting on them. She was too hungry. So she had grabbed food by herself, reading a PADD Monty had given her. _

_She heard someone sit down across from her suddenly. She expected one of the bridge members, Bones or Monty. But to her surprise it was some pretty red head. She had a sweet smile on her face as she gazed at Natalya and extended her hand. Her fingers were perfectly manicured and pained a bright pink. "I'm Bianca." She smiled, tilting her head to the side all cute and blinking her eyes innocently. Her voice was high pitched and slightly whiny sounding. She already got on Natalya's nerves. _

_"Natalya..." She mumbled, ignoring her pink fingered hand. That cute little smile faded a bit as she let her hand drop but she regained it quickly. _

_"Natalya Rider right?" Bianca asked, grabbing one of the carrots from her plate. It was all salad, fruits and veggies. It made Natalya feel even fatter, with her chips, sandwhich and pudding. _

_"Yeah." Natalya answered shortly. She was growing bored with this girl already. _

_"Oh, wow." Bianca smiled. _

_"Wow?" Natalya asked, glancing up at her. _

_"Your the girl James got pregnant right? The captain?" She asked, still feigning that cute innocent face. _

_"Obviously. What is it you want?" Natalya sighed, rolling her eyes. _

_"I just didn't believe them." Bianca said, shaking her head as her eyes traveled to Natalya's pregnant stomach. "I mean, everyone knew you and Jim had a thing, but I couldn't believe when they said you were pregnant. I mean after you left, Jim went around here jumping into bed with every girl he could get his hands on. He even pursued me for a while." Bianca said, that little smile gone as she tried to look sympathetic. Natalya felt her chest ache a bit, a nagging feeling. She didn't know why it bothered her so much to hear that. It was what she had expected. And James had every right to do what he wanted with girls when she had left. They weren't in a relationship and she hadn't broken his heart or something when she left. But it still hurt a bit to hear it. Not that she showed that to "sweet" little Bianca here. _

_"Bianca, is it?" Natalya asked, giving her own sweet little smile. Bianca nodded, blinking those big brown eyes at her again. "Why don't you take your fat ass up out of that bench and go bother someone else. I'm not stupid sweetie. The sweetheart act is just plain sad. Go be a bothersome bitch somewhere else and get over the fact that after you and James jumped into bed together, he didn't look at you again. It's not my problem sweetie." Natalya smiled, loving when that innocent look fell from her face to be replaced by a look of anger and slight shock. Her nostrils flared and her cheeks turned a bright red. It was just funny. _

_"At least I'm not the one stuck with a kid for the rest of my life because I'm not smart enough to use the pill." Bianca snapped, rising from the table and throwing back her red hair and marching away. Natalya smiled to herself, biting into her chip. _

Stupid girls like that she could handle. She had far bigger things to worry about.

Her ultrasound was today. She wasn't nervous anymore and even James seemed a bit calmer this time as they headed down to see Bones.

Bones was chatting up a younger looking girl and it took Natalya a minute to realize it was the girl from the bar that night. He was smiling at her, actually smiling. James snorted next to her and she grabbed his arm. "Don't go embarrassing him." Natalya hissed at him, digging her nails into his arm as he tried to move toward them. "What the hell is she doing on here anyway?"

"Apparently she works down in maitenece. Her names Tilly Rogers." He shrugged, giving a sly little grin.

"She's cute. And Bones is smiling." Natalya grinned, watching as Tilly through her head back and laughed at something Bones had said. Bones saying something funny... weird.

"Bones does need laid, that's for sure." James mumbled, shaking his head. She slapped him, making him give a pout and wince. "What?"

"Not everyone's a pig like you. Maybe he wants something more than that. I mean, it's been nearly 7 years since his divorce right?" She said, running a hand through her hair. "Bones needs more than just mindless sex."

"You didn't mind "mindless sex" with this pig." James pointed out, giving a cocky smile.

"Ya but I used you there. You were my little boy toy in that situation." She countered, flashing him one of her famous smiles and heading over toward Bones. James mouthed dropped as he followed after her.

"Your _boy toy?" _He gaped, shaking his head and she could almost see his pride level rising. "You were the one asking for some."

"And your the one who came back after the first time. _You're _the one who came begging for more." She smiled. James just gaped at her like a fish, making her laugh even more. It was true though. After the first time, she left and didn't say another thing about continuing. She talked to James the next day acting like everything was the same. After a couple days though, James came to her rooms, asking for more. She had loved that. After getting throw aside like trash with Nigel, she was happy to learn James wanted her again after one night. It wasn't the same as him wanting her in a relationship, but it was enough to satisfy Natalya.

"I sure as hell didn't beg." James huffed, looking like a little five year old pouting. Bones caught sight of them, giving Tilly a good-bye and ushering them over.

"Get up on the table," Bones ordered. It seemed the good mood he had with Tilly didn't last very long after she left.

"You really know how to charm a girl, Bones." Natalya smarted, jumping up onto the table. Bones gave a little grunt in reply and got out that goo stuff and the monitor. Natalya lifted her shirt, hating how huge she looked now. Bones sprayed the cold goo, and pressing the monitor to her stomach. The baby popped up on the screen. It looked a bit different this time, bigger and more like a baby. It's arms and legs were more proportioned to its head and she could see it's little facial features become more prominent. She felt a sudden warmth spread through her as always. It caught her off guard every time how much she felt. She reluctantly tore her gaze from the screen to look at James. He had that same look on his face as last time, fear mixed with love. So he was more nervous then he let on.

"Everything looks good as far as I can see. The kid is developing just fine and your bloodwork from yesterday is looking good." Bones replied after several minutes of looking at the monitor. "Heartbeat sounds good."

"What about the sex?" James asked suddenly, making her look back over at him.

"I don't want to know the sex." Natalya said, and James just gave her a one-sided grin.

"Yeah, but I do." He said. "Just write it down or something for me." He told Bones. Bones nodded, moving the monitor around for a moment. After a couple moments Bones shut the monitor off and wiped the goo off her belly. He wrote some things down on his PADD, obviously the sex of the baby because he haded it to James after. James gave a small smile after handing it back and she glared at him.

"You tell me and I'll hurt you." She said, moving her Star Fleet uniform back over her stomach. Bones left the room muttering something about getting something.

"I got it." James said, giving a smug little grin. "We should kinda figure out what we're gonna name the kid don't you?" He asked, gazing down at her stomach.

"You have to give me options for both!" She said immediately. "You can't go just giving options for whatever the baby is, then I'll know."

"I got it, it got it." He said, giving a little chuckle. He moved his hand to her stomach suddenly, spreading it out wide over the peak of her belly. It made Natalya jump a bit. It had been almost a month since he had touched her belly. "It's weird. We have a little less then two months." He mumbled, a sudden look of worry crossing his face.

"Yeah." She mumbled, watching his eyebrows furrow together. "James," She said softly, laying her hand out over his. "You'll be an amazing dad. I know it."

Those words seemed to trigger something in James because he met her eyes, his own swimming with so many different emotions. They stared at each other for a long moment and suddenly his lips were on hers. It wasn't like any of the kisses they had had before. Those were filled with lust and hunger. But this one... this one was soft and almost... loving. Her heart shot into overdrive as his one hand stayed on her stomach and the other intertwined with her blond curls. It lasted for what seemed like hours, before Natalya came to her senses. She shoved him back, her eyes wide and shocked.

"James- what?" She gasped, her lips still tingling from the feel of his. Her heart was thudding in her ears and her whole body was shaking. She felt like she did after Nigel had first kissed her. No.... no, no, no.

"I... I just- Natalya, stop!"

She had jumped off the medical table, almost running out of the medical bay. She heard James following after her but she didn't stop. This was crazy. She couldn't feel like that after a kiss from James T. Kirk. Even if he was giving up his lifestyle of jumping into bed with anything with a vagina he still wouldn't commit. He wasn't the kind of guy to settle down. He wasn't the kind of guy to fall for. What was she doing?

She was going crazy, that was for sure.

**There ya go. Moving forward with the relastionship! Hope you enjoyed... well not there first kiss but the first one that wasn't leading to sex. lol. **

**Please don't forget to give me name options! **

**Thanks. **

**Ta-ta loves. **


	8. Aftermath

**Chapter 8! YAY! **

**I don't own anything but Natalya and the baby... name will come soon once everyone gives me some suggestions lol. **

The the week after the Kiss, James didn't talk to Natalya and she didn't come looking for him. He kept denying that it was anything more than him just wanting some. He hadn't had any in probably two months and with the way Natalya was giving him those little kisses on the cheeks, touching his arm, and holding his hand was just drying him crazy. He knew she was pregnant, but it was still Natalya. One of the best girls he'd ever been in bed with and she was still hot as hell. So he kept trying to dismiss it as lust.

In the back of his mind though, he knew it wasn't.

There was something more to the Kiss. It wasn't filled with their usual hunger and lust, because when James did it, he was trying to get the sex started. He wasn't trying to have his way with her right there in medical bay. What she said about him being a father had set it off. The way those big green eyes of hers looked so serious and truthful when she said he would be an amazing father just made something in him snap. He had wanted her then. Not for an easy lay but just for a gentle kiss. Even though he kept trying to deny it he knew somewhere his feelings for Natalya had changed. Into something more than friendship or lust.

When James finally admitted that, he had no fucking clue what to do. He hadn't felt like this over a girl since he was 14. After 14, he gave up on crushes and dating girls. Because it was then that he had watched his mother's latest boyfriend beat her so badly that she had had to go to the hospital. And at the hospital he had to listen to his mother try to cover for her boyfriend, trying to say it was her fault and that she loved him and when you loved someone you forgave them. It had made him sick. He never really believed his mother loved any of those bastards, but after she had lost George and had to listen to him die his mother had just broke. So James told himself he wouldn't love a girl, because when they were gone that person took something with them that you couldn't get back. His mother never did after his father died. And James wouldn't be like that. Sex, and nothing but was best.

He didn't love Natalya though. He knew on some level he did for the mere fact that she was the mother of his kid, but it was full out love like his mother had felt for his father. But there was something there. Something more then friendship and lust and if he let it, could grow into love. It nagged at him that whole week after kissing her like that. It made his chest ache and he hated it. Because he didn't know what to do.

On one hand he could tell Natalya, tell her how that kiss was something more and he didn't just want friendship with her. But if she reacted like she did after the Kiss then he would only end up hurt. On the other, if he didn't tell her he would be stuck with this achy chest and nagging feeling all the time.

He went with the second option. He could push back those feelings and lie to her. Tell her the kiss wasn't anything more than lust and it didn't mean anything. And maybe if he told himself enough that he would begin to see it that way, convince himself he was imagining these feelings. Because right now he couldn't take the chance of her getting all worked up and causing some huge problem between them. She was due in less then a month and a half, so focusing on having their kid was far more important. After about two weeks of avoiding each other he set out to find Natalya and tell her all this.

He found her in her quarters. When she had opened the door her green eyes had widened and she gave a slightly panicked look, like a trapped animal. He smiled at her, lifting his hands up in surrender. "I just wanna talk." He said softly. Her face clouded over, smoothing out into a calm, bored look. It seemed to be her defense mechanism. In heavy situations she always wore that mask, trying not to show what she was feeling. In all those talks they had about the baby and what to do she always had it on at least once in the conversation. It drove him crazy.

She stepped back after a moment, letting him slip into her quarters. It was more unpacked then before at a bit neater too. He always remembered Natalya's quarters being messier then his own when he had come before for their late nights together. She was so bad at organization that even when she said she cleaned up it still looked horrible.

James made his way to the couch, settling into it as she waddled to the seat furthest away from him. It was like she thought he couldn't be trusted close to her.

James looked her over for a moment, noticing even in these last two weeks her stomach looked slightly bigger and a bit lower. He remembered the doctor talking about the baby moving further down the pelvis for birth or something like that. If he wasn't mistaken she was about a week into her 8th month. One month. It still made him dizzy. He watched her hand move to rest on her stomach as she leaned back, watching him too.

"So..." she mumbled, obviously wanting to move this along. She always had been impatient.

"I just... I just wanted you to know the kiss didn't mean anything." He lied, trying to use that mask of hers as he stared down at his hands. "I just got a bit overwhelmed ya know? And between the fact that I haven't had any in over a month and a half and different things I just kinda did... that." He shrugged, looking up at her and giving one of his famous smiles. Playing it off. Hoping she believed everything he was saying. He couldn't help but feel slightly uneasy as those calculative green eyes took him in, staring straight through him.

"We can't go and get this all messed up between us before the baby is born." She said, her other hand moving to her stomach, caddling it.

"I know," He said calmly, meeting her eyes. "I'm not. I'm straightening this out so it doesn't." He said, rubbing the back of his neck. She nodded slowly, but something in her eyes made him think she wasn't fully convinced. It made him nervous.

"I got... I got cheated on before I did our thing." She said suddenly, her eyes tearing away from him to stare at her stomach. James' eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, not sure where this was going. "I was with this guy for almost three years and he cheated on me. I found him in bed with some girl." She mumbled, her cheeks flaming red. James bit back the sudden anger that rose in his chest. Who the fuck would cheat on her? Natalya wasn't just beautiful but she was the kind of girl any guy would dream about. Smart, independent, funny, kind. "It... it hurt a lot. And I'm not going through that again." She met his eyes again. They were hard and cautious. She thought he would hurt her? Did that mean she had feelings too... "I'm not gonna be with anyone for a long time. I don't know if I can do all that again." That sounded more like a warning then a statement.

"I understand that." He said softly, running a hand through his hair. "I don't even know where the kiss came from, Natalya. It was just a lot of stuff right then, you know?" He asked.

She bit down on that perfect bottom lip of hers, give a short nod. "Yeah." She mumbled after a while.

"So... we're okay?" He asked. She nodded again, but that worried look was still on her face. "Good." He sighed, feeling slightly better. "So you're okay? Everything with the kid?"

"Ya." She shrugged, leaning back against the chair again. "I don't think I'm gonna be working anymore. I had some Braxton Hicks the other day and it kinda freaked me out. Bones said I should just stay here and rest."

"Braxton what?" He asked, feeling slight panic in his chest. "The kids okay right?"

"Yes," She said, giving a little laugh. "Calm down. Braxton Hicks are just false contractions that start during the end of the pregnancy. I get them every once in a while. They go away after I eat or lay down." She shrugged, giving a little sigh. "I'm gonna be bored out of my mind for the next three weeks."

"I think we'll both have plenty to do after the kids born." He smiled. She sighed, nodding her head.

"Speaking of that," She said, suddenly rising from the chair and moving toward her bedroom. She came back a moment later, a PADD in her hand. She set it on his lap, taking a seat next to him. He was glad she was fine enough to come near him, but feeling her so close made him want to reach out and touch her again. He pushed those feelings down. _You're just horny, you're just horny..._

James grabbed the PADD, giving a little smile. "Baby names?" He asked, glancing down at her.

"Well, ya. I mean we need to figure it out." She said, shrugging. "We can't just say 'hey, you' to our own kid."

James laughed, running through the list. They spent the next hour before his shift debating baby names. James did his best to give equal options for each sex, knowing Natalya would be furious if he revealed the sex of the baby. After arguing back and forth between curtain names, it seemed like they had a longer list to then before. But James promised to come by after his shift was over and argue some more with her. She nodded, that sweet smile spreading across her face as she waved him out of her quarters.

* * *

"So you came to see me off?"

Natalya rolled her eyes as James gave that smug little grin of his when he saw her enter the transporter room. She walked... well waddled more it seemed like, to where he was standing with Spock, McCoy, and Chekov, giving him a playful glare. "Any excuse to get out of my quarters." She shrugged as he gave a little laugh. "And I came to tell you not to be an idiot while you're down there." She snapped. James always seemed to be the one on missions to get all torn up. Every time they went into a hostile situation he came back with the most bruises and scrapes. He couldn't be pulling that stuff so close to the birth.

"I'll be fine." He shrugged, careless as usual. Nyota was off to the side with Spock and Amanda. She heard Spock's low murmur as he said something to Amanda, freeing one of the hands clasped behind his back to touch his daughters cheek. Amanda grinned, wrapping her arms around her father's neck, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Natalya saw the Vulcan's lips twitch upward as he pressed a quick kiss of his own to his bond mate's forehead. Nyota smiled widely as she always did when Spock showed even the slightest PDA. It didn't matter if it was a slight brush of his fingers against hers or a full kiss on the mouth, Nyota was satisfied with anything.

It made Natalya slightly jealous to see her friend have someone to share that with. She may still hurt from what Nigel did to her, but it didn't stop her from still wanting something like that.

Not with James though. She made sure to pound that one into her head. After the Kiss she had freaked. She couldn't risk letting all this hormonal confusion screw things up so close to the baby being born. She would have to stay on good terms with James and that meant shutting away those feelings and never thinking about them again. It would all probably end after she had their baby. The hormones would settle down and she wouldn't be this emotional all the time. Half of her fear though after seeing their kid it would only make her want him more. She would just have to wait and see. While keeping a tight control on her emotions.

"Just don't go try to be all manly and be the big hero guy. I need you in one piece." She said, watching his face become more serious.

"I know," He said, his voice lowering as he slid a little closer to her. "I'll be careful." He said, his hand pressing against her belly. She wanted to pull away but she just sat there, trying to focus on anything but him touching her. He grinned when the baby kicked, only making it harder for her. "You rest, don't worry about me." He said, puffing his chest out theatrically when he pulled his hand back. She giggled, rolling her eyes.

"Just get over there." She said, waving her hand at him. He chuckled, moving over to the transporter pad. Natalya made her way over to Amanda and Nyota, who were both giving waves to Spock. Spock watched them with his brown eyes, a small barely visible smile on his lips.

"Alright, Scotty. Beam us down." James said in his "captain" voice. Natalya gave him a little smile, lifting her own hand to wave. He winked at her just before he disappeared.

**Ya, I know this chapter is pretty short, but the next one will be longer. This one kinda has a lot in it though! They both are realizing their feelings for eachother YAY! lol. **

**Okay, pole is up and working on my profile so go and vote for some baby names cuz the kid is coming fast! lol **

**And tune in next time!**


	9. Aiden George Kirk

**Here's the next chapter of Baby, Baby. Thank you for reviewing and alerting and all that. Hope you enjoy this chapter. **

_He heard her walk out of the other room quietly, trying not to wake their son. She moved toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck from behind and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. "I finally got him to sleep." She whispered softly, pressing more kisses along his jaw and neck. He grinned, standing to face her. He wrapped his arms around her thin waist, pulling her close and pressing a kiss to her lips. She smiled, running her fingers through his hair. _

_"I guess we can get down to business." He grinned, moving her toward the bed. She burst into a fit of laughter as she fell back against it, her blond curls splaying out around her head like a golden halo. He gave a grin, moving his hands under her shirt as he pressed a hungrier kiss to her lips. _

_"God James." She whispered, sending him into overdrive. He usually hated when people called him James, but on her lips it just sounded good. He tore her shirt off, pressing kisses further down. "I love you so much." She whispered, capturing his mouth with hers. He grinned, loving that even more than his name. _

_"I love you too, beautiful." _

James jerked awake, his eyes wide as he stared at the ceiling. Jesus fucking Christ. This was the fifth time in two weeks he had had that dream about Natalya. What was this? Him saying he loved her? That wasn't true...

Was it?

James didn't know what loving another woman felt like. He knew he always had the urge do touch Natalya, not for lust filled reasons but just to feel her skin against his. He always wanted to hold her, to see that beautiful smile of hers. He thought about her almost constantly. And every time he couldn't do those things... that ache filled his chest. He hated it.

He threw the covers off of himself, getting up and going to the kitchen. He fucking hated this. He couldn't think straight. It hurt like hell all the time. This was rediculous. He didn't know why, but he exited his quarters, just walking aimlessly. He didn't want to go back to sleep. He knew he would have that dream again, or a version similar to it. He wasn't going to go visit Natalya either, that would only make it worse. It was only 11 at night and he couldn't sleep.

He made his way to the cafeteria, just sitting down at a table. There were a couple late shift people getting coffee or small snacks to get before the shift changed and they had to head to work. A couple girls from a group a couple feet away gave him a flirty smiles, but he didn't return them. He just rubbed his face, trying to block that stupid dream from his head.

"You alright?"

James' head snapped up to see some pretty red haired girl peering down at him, a slightly worried look on her face. She was hot enough, with long legs and pale ivory skin. "Um, yeah fine." He mumbled, watching her as she slid into the bench across from him. She was vaguely familiar, but he didn't really know where from. He had probably made a pass at her and she didn't make enough of an impression to stick.

"I'm Bianca." She smiled, reaching out her hand. Her nails were a bright pink, like little high school girls painted them. "You're James Kirk right?"

"Yeah," He nodded, giving her his own smile. He may feel like shit, but he could appreciate a pretty girl giving him attention.

"Nice to meet you." She smiled, suddenly getting up to slide into the seat next to him. "You seem pretty down." She said, frowning slightly and pressing her arm against his.

"It's nothing." He said, giving her one of his famous smiles. She looped her arm around him, smiling gently.

"I think I know what could cheer you up." She whispered, pressing a soft little kiss to his jaw. Just like in the dream...

No, he wasn't going to think about that. It had been months since he had gotten any. He knew he told Natalya he wouldn't... but one last fling before his son was born wouldn't hurt. Natalya wasn't with him... he didn't owe her celibacy. And maybe Bianca's "cheering up" would make the acheing go away... Bianca's lips were so soft...

"Yeah, why don't you show me?"

* * *

Natalya was in labor. She had suspected when she woke up with blood on her underwear and pains throughout the rest of the night, but after going to Bones he had confirmed it, telling her she was 2 cm dialated. Natalya acted cool and calm about it, but as soon as she was out of medical bay she headed straight toward James' quarters. She had tried to mentally prepare herself for the last few months for labor, but when it came down to it, she still freaked out. The pain wasn't much right now, but how bad it was going to get was scaring her the most.

James didn't answer her knocking, so she pressed in his code and went in herself. Lucky him, he was getting to sleep all peacefully. "James?" She called, wincing as another contraction hit. It wasn't bad, but it was a bit worse then the ones a few hours ago. "James!"

She heard a loud thunk from his bedroom and then a string of several curses. Good, she had woken him up. She moved toward the bedroom, about to walk through the door when the door shot open and he stood there in his boxers. She jerked to a stop, blinking as he gave her a nervous smile, rubbing the back of his head.

"Hey, you're up early." He chuckled, giving a little smile. She raised her eyebrow curiously. Usually she would have asked what the hell was wrong with him, but right now she was far to scared and panicked about the fact she was in labor to care.

"I went to Bones and stuff and I'm-"

"Jimmy?"

Natalya froze, her jaw tightening at the familiar whiney voice. Bianca herself slid into the doorway in one of James' civilian shirts, her long legs underneath and her hair mussed with sleep. She gave Natalya a lazy smile, wrapping her arms around James and pressing a kiss to his jaw. James body tensed up and his blue eyes slid away from Natalya's. Natalya didn't stick around to hear his explanation, nor did she care. She just turned, putting on that emotionless mask and moving out the door. Labor was forgotten for just a moment as a pain far worse then anything she had ever felt or was going to feel filled her chest. She knew she shouldn't feel like this, but she couldn't stop it.

"Shit, Natalya, don't-" James called, following her out of his quarters and running after her. Of course she couldn't go faster than walking so he caught up to her easily. A couple people stopped and stared at the captain in his boxers chasing after some pregnant girl, but quickly cleared out after a glare from James. "Natalya, please... just listen for a minute."

"Doesn't matter." She muttered through tight lips. She gave a little shrug, not meeting his eyes. "You can do whatever the hell you want. I should have known you wouldn't keep that promise for too long." She sighed, trying not to wince when another contraction hit her. It didn't hurt anywhere near as bad as her chest.

"That's not fair." James snapped, glaring at her now. "The baby isn't even born yet so one night-"

"You better get all the sex you need from Bianca today, because I'm in labor." She snapped back, laying a hand over her huge stomach. James' face went slack and several different emotions crossed his face. Fear, worry, happiness, guilt. "You should go back to her now." She said, trying to move around him, but he stopped her again.

"I'm not going back with her. You know she didn't mean anything. I'm gonna go with you to medical-"

"No." She hissed. "You're not coming anywhere near me."

"What? Are you gonna make me miss my own kid's birth because I made one mistake?" He cried, hurt written all over his features. She felt her eyes fill with sudden tears, but she quickly blinked them back.

"No, you can come to medical when I go down, but you're not gonna be in that room with me. I'm not having you anywhere near me." She snapped, moving around him and into the elevator before he could stop her again.

* * *

Hours passed and labor became worse and worse. James had beamed her four times, but she ignored and deleted them with out even looking at what he said. She didn't want to hear his lame excuses. Probably some bull shit about how he was drunk, or overwhelmed about everything. Well so was she but she didn't go jumping into bed with some other guy. Not that she could with her big pregnant belly.

She went to medical around noon when the contractions had become more even and more painful. Bones set her up, strapping things to her belly to monitor the baby's heartbeat and stuck needles in her arm. When he asked if he should call James, Natalya bit back some more tears and told him to do whatever the hell he wanted to but not to let that bastard near her. Bones raised his eyebrows but just shook his head, telling Nurse Chapel to alert James. He came rushing down several minutes later, but after one look on Natalya's face, Bones held him back and talked with him for a few minutes. James threw Natalya a pained look before jerked away from Bones and waiting outside the room. Natalya ached for him to be here because she was terrified, but after what he did... she just couldn't let him come in.

Natalya begged for the epidural, but the bitchy nurses told her she couldn't have it until later. Natalya kept gritting her teeth and tried not to cry as the pain got worse. She was about 5 cm along and Bones said she might have hours to go still. "Every labor's different so you never know." He said, shrugging his shoulders. Natalya fought the urge to grab him and choke him to death.

She turned on her side after one of the nurses came to examine her and tried to ignore the pain until they gave her the God damn drugs. It wasn't working so well...

"Natalya?"

Natalya froze, whipping her head around and glaring at James. He stood in the doorway, Bones just behind him looking angry and frustrated. James had a determined look on his face though as he moved through the door and took a seat next to her bed. She turned her back from him childishly, clenching her fist around the sheets as more pain ripped through her body with another contraction. She really couldn't deal with this now.

"I don't really care if you look at me, Natalya. I'm gonna talk to you anyway." He snapped, shifting in the chair slightly. "I know what I promised you and I'm sorry I broke that promise. But I... I can't deal with this shit anymore. I can't deal with all these feelings." He growled from behind. She felt fury well up inside her as she turned to glare at him.

"You don't think I'm not freaking out too? I'm about ready to go through the most painful thing in my life to have a kid _you _got me pregnant with. And after all that pain I have to be strong and try to be a good mother." She hissed, gritting her teeth against the pain. She really couldn't do this right now. All she wanted to do was grab him by the collar and choke him too and then cry from how painful it was getting.

"I'm not talking about that Natalya. I'm still... scared about raising a kid but I accepted all that months ago. I'm talking about..." He paused, looking suddenly nervous and fearful. "I'm talking about how I feel about you. I have all these... feelings. I can't stop thinking about you and it... hurts not being around you. I don't want a sexual relationship with you and I don't just want friendship either." He sighed, rubbing his face. Her heart was beating out of her chest. Why was he doing this now? Why did he have to go and ruin everything at this time? She really couldn't do this now...

"Stop it!" She cried, making him snap his head up and stare at her. She felt tears pricking her eyes and she did nothing to stop them this time. She didn't care anymore. "You expect me to believe that you have feelings for me when you went and fucked Bianca?" She snapped, turning to glare at him through her tears.

"I know that was stupid but I didn't know how else to deal with it. I just had all this shit going on and I didn't know what else to do. I'm gonna stop though, Natalya-"

"You expect me to believe that?" She sobbed, clenching the sheets in her fists. "How am I supposed to trust you when you go and do something like that? If we did start something up and you started to fall in love with me," She tried to push down the sudden warmth at the idea down before continuing, "are you gonna go bang a bunch of chicks?"

He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath before answering. His voice was low and calm, despite his shaking hands. "I'm sorry for what I did with Bianca, Natalya. But I'm not gonna do that shit again. Me and you being together would be good. For us and the baby. We could give the kid a family like it's supposed to have-"

"No!" She cried, wrapping a hand around her belly. "I told you I couldn't do something like that again. Nigel was the type of guy I never would have thought would do that, but he did. And you," She took in a deep breath, shaking her head. "Your the kind of guy I could never trust."

He flinched. Good. She wanted to hurt him like he hurt her. "Do you have any of the same feelings for me?" He asked. Natalya turned her head away, biting back a whimper as another contraction hit. They were getting worse and worse...

"It doesn't matter what I feel, because nothing is going to happen." She mumbled, staring down at her stomach under the hospital sheets. His hand reached out suddenly, laying across her own hand. She hated how much she loved the feel of his skin against hers. It only made her sob more.

The machines next to her bed suddenly began beeping loudly, causing Bones to come running in with several of the nurses. Natalya felt her heart thud in her chest, terrified if that meant something was wrong with the baby. "Get out of here Jim," Bones snapped.

"What the hell is wrong?" James asked, his voice filled with the same panic Natalya was feeling.

"You sitting here stressing out Natalya is hurtin' the baby. Get out of here or leave the shit your talking about alone." Bones snapped, leaning over the machines and pressing several buttons.

"I'll drop it." James said, dropping back in his chair and staring straight at Natalya. "But I'm not leaving."

She wanted to tell Bones to get him out of here, but she didn't. She couldn't. She was still angry at him, still hurting but she her fear overrode all of that. Nyota was on shift right now and she didn't have anyone else. So she just bit down on her lip and nodded to Bones. Bones glared between the both of them, but nodded, stalking out of the room.

Natalya felt James' eyes still on her as she turned her back to him, burrying her face into the pillows.

* * *

Even with the epidural, labor was still painful and long. Hours passed and it only got worse. James did everything he could to get her more comfortable, rubbing her back and letting her squeeze the shit out of his hand when another contraction hit. It seemed like she had been going through this for days when Nurse Chapel finally told her she was ready to push. Natalya gritted her teeth, listening to Nurse Chapel's instructions as she took James' hand. "Now push!" Nurse Chapel cried, counting to ten as Natalya began pushing. It hurt like hell and it seemed to be doing nothing because Chapel let her rest, then push again, rest, then push, rest, then push until- "There ya go, Natalya, I can see the head."

Natalya whimpered, panting as before Chapel ordered her to push again. She was tired and in unimaginable pain. She wanted to quit...

James smoothed back her sweaty hair suddenly, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. She was to tired to shove him back or tell him not to touch her. And right now it felt nice. "You just got a little bit more." He whispered, pressing another kiss to her temple. "You're doing amazing."

Natalya blinked a couple of tears back, gathering her strength. James squeezed her hand as Nurse Chapel told her to push again. She gritted her teeth, giving another push. She felt pain erupt as the baby slid down and she let out a cry of pain. "Keep going, keep going!" Nurse Chapel cried. Natalya pushed as hard as she could, using up the last of her strength....

A loud wail filled the small room and she heard James let out a small breath. Natalya fell back against the pillows as the pain slowly ebbed away. Nurse Chapel held up a tiny baby covered in blood and smiled. "You got a baby boy!" She cried, handing the baby off to one of the nurses after she cut the umbilical cord. Natalya felt tears sting her eyes as she stared at the baby. A son... she had a baby boy.

The nurse laid him down in her arms after he was cleaned up and Natalya felt something break as she stared down at him. All the stuff with James and the hurt that Nigel left her didn't matter anymore... nothing did but this little boy- her little boy. As she gazed down at him, she couldn't feel anything but love and happiness. It consumed her, filled every part of her. She bit back a sob, pressing kisses to his small red cheeks.

"God he's-" James muttered off to the side. Natalya had forgotten he was there, so consumed with the little bundle in her arms. James' blue eyes, the same eyes their son had, swam with tears as he touch a finger to the little boys cheek. "He's-"

"Perfect." Natalya finished, pulling their son closer. James smiled, not his flirty smile, his cocky smile or his smug smile. It was a smile that seemed to belong only to their son.

"Exactly." James grinned, pressing another kiss to her sweat, messed up hair. He peered down at their son again, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head. He had a head full of blond curls like his mother and his father's blue eyes.

"You got a name for the kid?" Bones grunted off to the side. Natalya looked over at James before answering Bones.

"Aiden George Kirk."

**YAY! The baby is here. And Yes, Aiden won the poll. George was next up so that was the little boys middle name. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please review! Thanks.**

**Ta-Ta lovely readers. **


	10. For Aiden

**Hello there all! Sorry it's taken so long to update. I wrote a couple different things for this chapter and I just finally settled on this one. I really like it and I hope you all do as well. Thanks for the reviews and alerts and all that. Please enjoy this next chapter lol.**

**I own nothing but Aiden and Natalya. **

* * *

Aiden George Kirk was 8 pounds and 4 ounces and 20 inches long. He was perfectly healthy, Bones said, outside and inside. Natalya too, was declared healthy. She didn't have any complications and other than being slightly sore she was fine. They were both out of medical within two days. Natalya took Aiden back to her quarters; sleeping in his dull, gray Star Fleet blankets, followed closely by James. They hadn't talked hardly at all after the euphoria of their son's birth. They weren't glaring at each other and giving each other dirty looks to make the other feel uncomfortable, but they just didn't talk or look at each other. James hated that he had caused this so close to Aiden's birth. He knew Natalya would never use their son against him, but going to her quarters to visit him was going to be extremely uncomfortable.

He wheeled Natalya into her quarters (Bones had insisted she take a wheel chair) and let her slowly get up, Aiden still in her arms. James still couldn't get over how perfect he was. Most newborn kids James had seen were kind of pink and wrinkly (or in Amanda's case, green and wrinkly) but Aiden was way cuter then any of them. James couldn't help but grin when all the nurses fawned over Aiden, squealing at how adorable he was. His kid was going to be a ladies man before he was able to walk.

James loved Aiden more than he could have imagined. He knew Natalya and him weren't in a good place right now, but never would that effect how he felt about his son. When he looked at Aiden, nothing else but his happiness mattered. James hated when he cried and loved it when Aiden would just peer up at him with those bright blue eyes. Aiden was always going to be his son and he was always going to be his father. James had never had a constant thing in his life like that. His mother had been there, but she wasn't really "there". He knew his mother tried the best he could with him, but she was to broken and hurt to give all she could as a mother.

Natalya didn't say anything as she slowly walked toward Aiden's room, setting him down gently in his crib. Aiden squirmed a bit in his blankets, but then settled back down into sleep. Natalya stared at him for a moment, a small smile on her face. "So," James said, watching that smile fade and glance over at him with that blank face. He felt a slight flicker of annoyance but pushed it back. "I thought I would stay on the couch or something. So I could help when he wakes up in the middle of the night."

Natalya moved out of the room and for a moment James thought she was going to totally ignore him. But after the door shut behind them she turned around to face him. "I can handle him at night and stuff. You don't have to stay." She said, her voice calm and even as she turned to head toward the kitchen. James gritted his teeth, trying to remain calm.

"This is part of my responsibility too. You shouldn't have to be the only one missing sleep because he's up at night crying." James stated, watching as she began to make some sandwich.

"I'm fine. I have two months before I have to go back to work. I'll make up sleep in between time. You have to work and stuff so..." She shrugged again, leaning against the counter and biting into the sandwich. James glared at her.

"I took the next week off of work. It's just on the couch Natalya-"

"I don't want you staying here." She snapped suddenly, that calm mask wavering for a moment. It was the first real emotion she had shown to him in over two days.

"I'm not going to be bugging you and stuff just taking care of _our _son." He snapped back, folding his arms. He was going to stand his ground on this one. Natalya's lips pursed as she chewed on her sandwich.

"I don't care. These are my quarters and I don't want you here." She hissed, her green eyes narrowing at him.

"So what? Am I not allowed to come see my son while he's here-"

"Don't be stupid!" She cried, throwing her sandwich down and glaring at him. "I would never use Aiden against you! I'm not that big a bitch. You can come during the day and see him whenever you want but I don't want you staying here at night. I don't want to have to be around you." She took several calming breaths, glancing over toward Aiden's door. "I know I'm going to have to sometimes because he's your son too, but I'm not going to be around you more than I have to."

"I get what I did with Bianca hurt you, Natalya," he sighed, running a hand through his hair, "but you have to forgive me sometime. The way things are between us isn't going to help with Aiden."

"You made it this way." She snapped, giving him an accusing glare. "You had to go and pull that shit with Bianca and then talk about all you _feelings." _She sneered at the last word, almost mocking him. He knew he deserved all this. He had hurt her and he knew he was going to have to take all her comments when she lashed out.

"We both know Bianca didn't mean a damn thing." He sighed, looking up at her. "And I know how I told you about how I feel wasn't the right way, but it _is _how I feel. I do have feelings for you." He watched her face, looking for any signs of returned feelings. Her answer at medical bay wasn't clear and she was in so much pain he wasn't sure if she was just trying to get their conversation over with. This time pain flashed over her face before smoothing out.

"It doesn't matter. Nothing is _ever _going to happen between us. The little trust I had for you went out the window when you pulled Bianca into bed." She muttered, glaring down at her bare feet. James flinched. Bianca would always be his biggest mistake. Natalya held grudges and this wasn't going away for a long time. She would always hold that one night over his head.

"So you're just going to go on hating me forever? How are we supposed to raise a kid together like that?" He sighed.

"You're the one who did this so-"

"Dammit Natalya! I'm _sorry. _If I could go back I would. Doesn't that mean anything?" He snapped, throwing his hands into the air. She gave him an angry sneer, shaking her head.

"No, James, it doesn't. Because you shouldn't have done it in the first place." She hissed. She opened her mouth to say something more, but a loud wait sounded from Aiden's room. He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face as she glared at him. "Nice, thanks." She snapped, moving over to Aiden's room. He heard Natalya's soothing voice from the other room as she murmured to their son.

"Hi, sweetie. Oh... you're okay." She muttered. She walked out a moment later, holding little Aiden in her arms and trying to comfort him as he wailed. "Can... can you just go. I can't deal with all this right now."

James looked at her, the mother of his child and the woman he wanted to so badly be with. He wanted to refuse, but that sudden desperate look in her eye made him bite back the refusal. He sighed, nodding before moving toward the door. He stopped in front of her, pressing a kiss to Aiden's red face before leaving without another word.

* * *

Nyota hated being woke up at night. Whether it was from surprise attacks or emergencies or her own daughter wailing, she hated it. Of course she would get up and help with whatever was happening. Klingon's attacking... lets go. Her daughter hungry... to the kitchen for the milk. But she gritted her teeth the whole way.

Tonight was no different. When she heard that stupid knocking at the door she wanted to scream at whoever was there. She just shoved a pillow over her head and let Spock answer it. Half the nights she was asleep, he wasn't. He didn't need half as much sleep as she did... which was extremely nice when their daughter was just born. She heard her bond mate pad to the front door of their quarters, looking to see who it was.

"Nyota," Spock whispered, shaking her shoulder just as she had begun to fall back asleep. Nyota growled, turning on her back to glare at him.

"What the hell is it?" She snapped, watching his lips twitch upward in amusement.

"Natalya is here with Aiden. She seems extremely distressed." Spock answered smoothly, leaning back up. Nyota sighed, rubbing her forehead. Four days with Aiden home and Natalya was already here. Not that Nyota hadn't expected it. Natalya was terrified of what she was going to do when Aiden was born. So Nyota sighed, throwing back the covers and shuffling out of bed. Natalya was pacing back and forth, her blond curls atop her head in a messy bun. Aiden was quiet in her arms, wrapped tightly in a small blue blanket as Natalya murmured to him softly.

"Natalya?" Nyota muttered, watching her friend turn to her with wide, tear filled eyes. Nyota felt her heart beat out of her chest. Oh, God was something wrong with Aiden already? She thought McCoy had said he was completely healthy. Natalya had carried him to full term. "Natalya, what's wrong?"

"I can't do this. I can't stand it." Natalya cried, tears leaking out of the corner of her eyes. She hugged Aiden to her, sniffling as the tears kept coming.

"Oh, hunny. I know it's hard the first few months but-"

"It's not Aiden. I love Aiden... he's..." She trailed off, glancing down at the small bundle in her arms.

"Sit down," Nyota said, gesturing toward the couch. Natalya did as she was told as Nyota headed toward the kitchen to get some mint tea. She knew her friend loved it and it was just what she needed.

"Aiden's perfect. I love him so much." Natalya whispered from the living room. "I just can't do all this... this _bull shit_ with James."

Nyota froze, her mind clicking. Of course. James. He always had to screw everything good he had up. And now he had hurt Natalya, the mother of his kid. Nyota would rip that dumbass, womanizers head off. Natalya had just gone through 28 hours of labor giving birth to _his _son and now he was making her cry over God knows what. Natalya had said James wanted to step up and be a good father, but if he had backed out at the last second, Nyota would murder him. She would murder him and then she would bring him back so Spock could choke him again. "What did he do?" Nyota asked, grabbing the teakettle and filling it up. "If he backed out I swear-"

"No, he's a good dad. He loves Aiden so much." Natalya whispered, closing her eyes for a moment and biting back a sob. She hugged Aiden to her, trying to control herself. "He slept with Bianca."

Of course. If it wasn't him backing out of things it was him sleeping with someone. But Nyota didn't understand...

"Was this recently? I mean... did he do it while he was supposed to be taking care of Aiden?" Nyota asked, moving toward the living room while the tea heated up. She didn't go and sit next to Natalya and hold her. She knew her friend hated that, so she gave Natalya distance, just sitting on the couch as she watched Natalya cry.

"No... it was the night before Aiden was born." Natalya muttered, wiping at a few tears. "I caught him in bed with her. I went to tell him I was in labor and I just found them." She bit her lip, running her hands over her blond hair. "I hurt and I don't know why! And he had the balls to come and tell me he did it because he was overwhelmed by all these feelings he had about me. That he wanted to be with me and he just didn't understand what to do with all that." Natalya choked back another sob, staring down at Aiden. He watched her, blinking his bright blue eyes at her. "I can't stop hurting..."

"Oh, god." Nyota muttered. Of course. James had to go make a mess of everything.

Nyota didn't doubt that James had feelings for Natalya. She had seen the way James looked at her and how much he cared for her and their unborn child. But she didn't think James would do this, would sleep with Bianca and then tell Natalya his feelings for her. But of course this was James T. Kirk. He always had to screw something up.

"You have feelings for him too, don't you?" Nyota asked gently, watching her friend bit her lip.

"I don't know." Natalya whispered desperately. "I love him in a way... because he gave me Aiden but I don't know how I feel. It hurt so bad after Nigel cheated on me and James is _that guy." _Natalya sniffed, rubbing her cheek again. "He's already proven he'll hurt me, before we were even in a relationship. He says he'll change but I... I can't take that chance again."

Nyota sighed, rubbing her forehead tiredly. "I... I don't know what to say here Natalya. The only thing I can tell you is you and James have to work it out. Because _he," _She pointed her fingers at Aiden, who had began to drift off, "is all that matters. You and James have to be okay for him."

"I know..." Natalya whispered, staring down at her son, a small smile coming across her lips despite the tears. "But when I'm around James it just... hurts. And I-I don't want to forgive him. I hate that he made me feel like this."

"I'm sorry, Natalya. But you have to... for Aiden." Nyota whispered. "If it makes you feel better... I want to rip his head off too."

Natalya gave a watery laugh, leaning back against the chair and looking extremely tired. "It helps." She smiled, but it quickly faded. "I'll... I'll try to get over it. I'm not going to do a thing with James... but I'll work it out." She muttered, pressing a soft kiss to Aiden's forehead. "For Aiden."

* * *

**Sooo there it is. Hope you enjoyed it and please review. **

**Ta-Ta loves.**


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